YoYo
by ChaoticSpecter
Summary: Updated 12/24/09 Semi-AU. POV. One night can completely alter relationships that you have had for years and change your understanding of the world around you. Making you feel as if you're constantly shifting between euphoric bliss and torture.
1. Never knows best

**Yo-Yo**

Chapter 1: Never knows best

By: ChaoticSpecter

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Digimon.

**A/N:** **This fic contains Shonen Ai**. If you are uncomfortable with male/male relationships, please hit the back button on your browser. Those of you that remain, enjoy.

Three months. Hardly a significant amount of time in the grand scheme of things, barely a second when compared to the vastness of time, the blink of an eye--And yet so much can happen in this tiny sliver of a window in time. Three months and one of my friendships has been irreversibly altered. One of my best friends has gone from merely being a friend to being more, something more than a friend and yet not really a lover. Something ultimately more complicated and thus guaranteed to fuck with my mind for the entire duration of this little…arrangement. Especially since I don't know what the fuck my friend is thinking. I couldn't tell you why this happened or when it started, all I could tell you is that this development has left me more confused than anything I have ever felt up until this point in my life.

The night everything changed, things seemed innocent, well they did at the time, but as they say hindsight is 20/20. Yamato approached me in his usual manner, all suave and sophisticated, as always, only things were a little different. And if only I had been paying more attention none of this would have happened. I mean, it was only obvious, the way he stood closer to me than necessary, the way he kept touching me, caressing every inch of skin he could reach. He was all smiles, and not his standard suave smile; this one was mysterious, sensual.

Hell, he was flirting with me and I didn't even realize it. Now I understand why everyone is always saying I'm blind to the interest people have in me, that I'm always ignoring appreciative stares and all that other shit. Anyway, I was oblivious to his flirting, just thinking that Yamato was feeling friendlier than usual, and he was… just not in the way I was thinking. Long story short, I ended up in bed with Yamato that night, I still don't know how that happened. I slept with my best friend that night and I don't know how to feel about that, I also don't know how to feel about the fact that we have been sleeping together almost every time an opportunity presents itself since then either.

I remember asking Yamato why he slept with me shortly after all of this began and he just said, "Because I felt like it"--That is so fucking typical of Yamato. But none of that is what I consider to be the worst of it. The worst and most confusing part of all of this is that he always acts as if nothing has happened, and yet as soon as someone's back is turned he's dragging me off somewhere. No one knows that this is going on, Yamato has yet to say anything to anyone and I don't think that he intends to--if he wanted them to know he would have said something by now. And I haven't told anyone because I don't know what to think about any of this.

Sometimes I'm angry or sad, but most of the time I'm just confused. I mean, how are you supposed to feel when your best friend continually uses and discards you? But more confusing than that is the fact that I am letting him. I don't even know why I let any of this happen. It should be so easy to say 'no', but I can't. I can't deny Yamato and this fact alone has caused me to lose sleep on more than one occasion. All Yamato has to do is tell me what he wants and I do it, no questions asked. I'm his fucking lap dog. Takeru has said so on more than one occasion, he was joking when he said it, but it's true. For some reason I'm a slave to Yamato's every whim and I can't keep myself from obeying. Maybe that's how we got into this situation in the first place, if only I had said no, then again Yamato really didn't give me any choice in the matter.

xxxxxx

"Tai-chan." Yamato whispered into my ear while his fingers tickled me into consciousness. "Tai-chan, wake up."

"What do you want, Yamato?" I asked blearily.

"We have school in a couple of hours," he said while slowly brushing his lips against my own.

"Then why are you waking me up now?" We had a whole hour left to sleep and I didn't intend to waste it.

"Because this is the last time I'll be seeing you," he said placing a chaste kiss upon my lips and smiling.

"What?"

"I'm going to be out of town, I'll be back next week remember?" I nodded. "I want to spend some time with you before I go." He kissed me again and started dragging his fingers through my hair. Yamato held me until it was time for us to get ready for school. It was times like this that made me want to wonder what it would be like if things between Yama and me were real. But I knew such thoughts were dangerous--Yamato would always do something to hurt me, it was better not to wish for more.

With Yamato gone, I had a lot of time on my hands. I no longer had to worry about rushing through my homework before Yamato could distract me or rush off after practice so that I could meet Yamato somewhere. It wasn't until he was gone that I realized just how much Yamato's role in my life had grown. I was used to waking up in his arms and going to sleep in them at night most days of the week. So many intimate things I had grown used to. God, I miss him so much and he's only been gone two days. I'm in way over my head. I don't know what to do.

"Taichi," Sora's voice broke into my thoughts and I turned away from the window I had been staring out of.

"Yeah?"

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," I answered wondering what prompted the question.

"I know you miss him," she said staring at me intently.

"What?" I asked, shocked. Could she know about me and Yamato? Did Yama tell her?

"I know you miss, Yamato, but you should cheer up. He'll be back in a few days and you can hang out with your best friend again. But for now, you're just going to have to put up with the rest of us by yourself," she then grabbed my sleeve and dragged me toward the rest of the group.

I spent the rest of the week being smothered by everyone during daylight hours and being horribly depressed in my room by myself under the cover of night. The night Yamato came back in town I was so exhausted that I didn't even bother to go see him, which was funny because at the beginning of the week all I wanted was to have him back. I pretty much stayed in my room after school that day doing homework and staring at the walls in yet another attempt to think things through. I learned a few things in the time Yamato was gone. The first being that I actually liked my literature class now that I was doing the work and I wasn't half bad in all my other classes either, I just needed to stop spacing out. My teachers were all surprised at my attentiveness this past week. Another thing is that I do get quite a number of appreciative stares, not all coming from females either. God, the things you find out when you pay attention. And the last thing I learned this week is that my friends find my paying attention to anything for more than five minutes extremely unsettling. This piece of information could be used to my advantage at a future date.

Despite all the progress I've made in other areas, I'm still at a loss as to what to do about Yamato. However, I have figured out that I have been attracted to Yama for a while now. So, not only do I not pay attention to the people attracted to me, I don't pay attention when I'm attracted to other people. An endearing personality trait I'm sure. I really need to start paying better attention to my surroundings. I was startled out of my reverie by the knocking on my room door. I opened it and came face to face with none other than Yamato.

"I suppose you thought I'd be amused when you didn't show up with the others when they came to see me," he started conversationally. "Or that I'd find it funny when you didn't answer any of my phone calls," he paused for a second before continuing. "Do you see me laughing, Taichi?" he deadpanned. I shook my head 'no'. "Then I suppose it is safe to assume that I. Am. Not. Amused." He then pushed me into my room and locked the door behind us.

"Who let you in?" was the only thing I could think to ask in my shocked state. Damn it. I wasn't ready to see him yet. He held up the spare key I had given him in answer. I regret ever having given him the damn thing.

"Tell me, Tai-chan," he said while slowly advancing upon me, "Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you," I said while backing away from him in an attempt to keep some space between us.

"Then why did I have to track you down in order to see you?" he asked closing the space between us.

"I was tired, Yamato. I wanted to sleep."

"So you say," he said looking completely unconvinced. "Everyone's been telling me that you have been acting very out of character as of late. Why is that, baby?" he asked bringing a hand up to cup my cheek, his eyes peering intently into my own.

I slowly backed away from him before moving to sit on my bed. "I'm not acting any differently than I normally do," I said staring at the floor in an attempt to ignore the feeling of his eyes on me.

"Is that so?" he asked walking up to me and pushing me flat on the bed and straddling me. My breath hitched in my throat and he smiled. "I don't believe you."

I had to swallow several times before I could speak. "But that doesn't make it any less true."

He leaned closer, his lips hovering over mine and smirked. "You always were a horrible liar, Taichi," he whispered before capturing my lips with his own.

Yamato had returned and started the whole confusing cycle all over again. Before I held out hope that everything would go back to normal when he came back, that he would be tired of being with me in that way. But Yamato made it very clear to me that he had no intention of going back to the way things were. I don't know what to do.

To be continued……

Leave your thoughts. It would be greatly appreciated.


	2. Day of Reckoning

**Yo-Yo**

Chapter 2: Day of Reckoning

By: ChaoticSpecter

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything pertaining to Digimon. This is being written for entertainment purposes only.

**A/N: **This fic contains shonen-ai. If this offends you in any way please hit the back button on your browser. All of you brave enough to keep reading this enjoy. I would like to take the time extend my eternal gratitude to those of you that reviewed. I appreciate you taking the time to tell me what you thought of my little piece of fiction. You guys rock! .

Today was undoubtedly the worst day of my life. The day just progressed form bad to worse, I mean, just when I didn't think it could get any worse, it did. Yes, today was one for the record books. The first thing happened while I was walking around the kitchen looking for something- I don't even remember what the hell I was looking for anymore. But I burned the hell out of myself, so I am now proudly sporting a large burn mark on my left forearm. After giving myself a third degree burn, I headed to school where I discovered that I failed to grab the project that I had been killing myself to complete for the past week. And not only did I forget this project, I forgot every piece of homework due today and my mother could not bring any of it because she was out for the day. I sulked about this until lunch where I discovered the worst news of the day up until that point.

I threw myself next to Daisuke fully intending to sleep the rest of the day--or the lunch period, whatever--away when Yamato waltzed up to the table with a girl form our sixth period class and proceeded to rip my heart out of my chest. At least that's what it felt like he was doing.

"Hey guys, this is Karen, she's my new girlfriend," Yamato said looking me directly in the eyes. How could he be so cruel? Everyone started to politely introduce themselves while I just stared stupidly. I didn't know what to think.

His girlfriend! I thought incredulously. His fucking girlfriend? He never even said anything about this girl until today and now he just ups and announces in front of everyone that they're dating. I felt so used. I know Yamato and I have been sleeping together and that he doesn't want anyone to know about it, but I expected more from him. Yamato is my best friend; I didn't expect him to disrespect me in such a way--And to smirk at me while he was saying it. I shut my eyes in shame. Yamato could be so incredibly heartless at times.

"I have to meet some people for a project," I mumbled as I stood to leave the table. Everyone cast suspicious glances in my direction but I could care less. I actually did have a group meeting to attend, but I was going to blow it off in favor of sleep after the incredibly fucked up morning I had. Then Yamato showed up and suddenly the meeting seemed infinitely more inviting. God, I fucking hate Yamato sometimes. That fucking bastard.

I spent the rest of the day avoiding everyone and ignoring Yamato during our shared classes. I was so incredibly fed up with everything by the time school let out that I wanted to scream. Why can't I seem to catch a break lately? What God did I piss off to deserve this type of punishment? I was knocked out of my self-depreciating thoughts when I ran into a wall and fell flat on my ass. I just gave up and stayed on the ground. What was the point in getting up when I'd probably be back in the same place in five minutes?

I lay flat on my back staring at the ceiling for what felt like forever in an attempt to calm down. At least that was what I was doing, until Yamato's face hovered into my line of vision. I let out a startled yelp and attempted to recoil in my shock, but all I got for the attempt was a headache. Yes, I smashed my own head on the floor of the deserted hallway.

Yamato merely raised an eyebrow at my actions while I attempted to stand with as much dignity as I could. As it turns out, it was Yamato that I had run into, not the wall. Just my luck, literally running into the exact person I was hoping to avoid. As soon as I was back on my feet Yamato was shoving me against the wall of lockers knocking the breath out of me. Great, like I hadn't been banged up enough today.

"What the hell is your problem, Yagami!" he hissed. I just stared blankly. He couldn't possibly be confused as to why I would want to avoid him. It's painfully obvious. "Answer me," he growled fisting his hand in my shirt.

"What do you want me to say, Ishida?" I asked voice cold. Yamato seemed surprised, his eyes widened slightly and his grip on my shirt went lax.

"What's the matter with you?" he asked voice soft his eyes peering intently into my own. I could only laugh in response.

I used his surprise to get away from him. "What's wrong with me?" I asked incredulously. "Do you even have to ask? I should think it was obvious." I bent to grab my backpack from where it had fallen when I had run into the brick wall known as Ishida Yamato.

"Taichi… if this is about Karen you're being unreasonable. She's just some girl. She could never replace you."

I could only stare at him in shock for a few minutes. Did he really just say what I thought he did? "I'm being unreasonable!" I yelled when I was finally able to find my voice. "Me!" I couldn't believe it. Of all the shit for him to pull. "I'm not the one fucking my best friend and keeping it a secret! I'm not the one who went out and found himself a girlfriend on top of that.," I just couldn't believe him. How could he even be surprised that I'm upset? He's so ashamed of me that he doesn't even tell anyone about me then he goes out and dates some random girl he's never shown an interest in and I'm supposed to be happy about that? He never thinks about how any of this shit makes me feel.

"I told you she can't replace you, Taichi," he said while looking at me like that one sentence solved everything.

"Fuck that, Yamato. I don't care about that shit anymore. You want your girlfriend, you got it. Leave me the fuck alone!" I then pushed past him with the full intention of going home and falling into a coma--or as close to one as sleep would allow. And with any luck I would be able to talk my mother into letting me stay home tomorrow. But I never got that far. Yamato grabbed my arm as I passed him and pulled me back toward him. Unfortunately he happened to grab the arm I burned this morning. Suffice to say it was painful. I screamed and wrenched my arm away from him while Yamato looked on in concern. I scoffed at the thought. Now the bastard is concerned. Right.

"Tai-chan, what's wrong with your arm?" he asked while reaching out to grab it and I stepped away from him.

"Nothing, I just need to go home."

"Bullshit," he said and wrenched my arm from the protective hold I had put it in and rolling up the sleeves. "Jesus, Tai," he said as soon as he uncovered the burn. "When the hell did you do this?"

"What does it matter? It's done."

"Did you even clean this?" he asked while tentatively touching at the edges of the wound. I didn't bother responding and turned my head opting to stare at the wall while he decided to play doctor. He dragged me to the restroom where he cleaned and bandaged it. I guess that bandage he carried around in his backpack actually came in handy for once. He started carrying it around a couple of years ago after we had gotten into a particularly bad fight and got into trouble for it only because we had to go to the nurse's office. "There," he said when he had finished.

"Yeah," I said pulling my arm away and picking up my backpack yet again. "I have to go."

"Taichi, you're going to talk to me. And you're going to do it now," he said before taking my hand and dragging me through the deserted hallways. When we made it towards the end of the school grounds, Yamato let go of my hand, but kept a discreet grip on my coat sleeve. We reached Yamato's apartment and had barely closed the door before he immediately picked up where our 'conversation' had ended. He gazed at me intently from his spot on the sofa for a few minutes before he started speaking.

"Tell me Taichi…Are you really so threatened by that little know it all girl?"

"What does that matter, Yamato? She's your girlfriend. It doesn't matter if I'm threatened or not." This was so pointless. Why does he insist on bothering me when he has obviously decided that he's tired of me?

"Obviously it does, I wouldn't bother asking you otherwise. You know that."

"What the hell is the point?"

"If you feel threatened by her, I will simply have to go find another girl that you don't feel threatened by. I wouldn't want you to be unhappy if I could make it otherwise."

"You're not making sense."

"No, I'm making perfect sense. It's just that you aren't listening."

"Just tell me what you want, Yamato. I'm tired; I just want to go home."

"You aren't going anywhere until I finish with you," he said voice sharp, eyes intense. He gets so uptight about the weirdest things. Why the hell should he always be concerned about where I am? Why does he feel the need to make so many demands on my time?

"Whatever, Yamato. Just tell me what you want."

"I asked you a question and you never bothered to answer it."

"What question?"

"Are you jealous of Karen?" that struck a chord. I was jealous, but not because she was a girl. I was jealous because Yamato openly acknowledged her while hiding me like I'm something to be ashamed of. I'm jealous because she more than likely knows what Yamato wants from her. I'm jealous of so many things, none of them things I would be jealous of if Yamato would just treat me with a little respect. Why is it that he always treats me differently no matter the situation? Why is it that as his best friend I always seem to be shortchanged? Isn't that supposed to be the other way around? I'm so tired of him fucking with me, it's ridiculous. "Well?" he prompted when no answer was forthcoming.

"Not really," was all I could bring myself to say.

"I know you're jealous, baby," he said closing the space between us. "You can't hide things like that from me, you're too honest," he brought a hand up and started running his fingers through my hair. "Just tell me what you want and I'll do my best to make it happen."

"Earlier you said that you would find someone that I didn't feel threatened by," Yamato nodded his head as I said this peering at me intently hand still stroking my hair. "Does this mean that you intend to date someone else even while you are with me?" I asked already feeling the anger build.

"Of course," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. I could have strangled him.

I pulled away from Yamato before responding. "What makes you think that I'll go along with this?"

"Why wouldn't you?" he asked his confusion clearly evident. "It's a mutually beneficial arrangement. I can date someone else and still have the opportunity to be with you. You could do the same as well if you wanted." He sounded hesitant to add that last part.

"Why would you want to be with me when you can just be with someone else? You're making an uncomplicated situation more complicated than it has to be. You're dating Karen now; let's just leave it at that."

"No. Karen is not important, you are. I want you to be happy, Taichi. If you are not happy with my choice in a girlfriend, just tell me. I'll even let you choose the girl if you want," he said while slowly closing the space between us once again and slipping his arms around me.

I shook my head. "No, Yamato," I said and tried to move away from him but Yamato tightened his grip on me.

"You can't leave me, Tai-chan," he whispered before claiming my lips with his own. One of his hands slipped into my hair and I moaned. Why does he always do this? Every time I try to end this madness he overwhelms me and I end up giving in.

"You have to stay with me," he whispered when he broke our kiss trailing his lips along my jaw. His lips grazed my neck and I whimpered clinging to him wanting to feel more. The battle was lost even before Yamato made his first move. God, I hate being so weak.

To be continued……….

**A/N:** This piece of fiction will be a little weird because I'm in a weird place right now. So I apologize in advance for any overt weirdness anywhere. However, I urge you to keep in mind that this is semi-AU so some discrepancies are to be expected.


	3. “It’s like a koala bear crapped a rainbo...

**Yo-Yo**

Chapter 3: "It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain"

By: Chaoticspecter

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Digimon.

**A/N:** This piece of fiction contains shonen ai. That means boy/boy love. If this in any way offends you, please hit the back button on your browser. Do not waste your time reading something that you hate when you have already been warned. Those of you that decide to continue, enjoy.

After I found out about Yamato's girlfriend, I have been more confused than I had been these past six months. I didn't even think that was possible. I mean, this shit is ridiculous. I still don't know why Yamato sleeps with me, just that he feels like it whenever he does. And now that he has a girlfriend I suppose that his compulsion to throw me onto a bed and fuck me should be gone. I mean he has a girlfriend to take care of all that now. He doesn't need me like that anymore, right? Wrong. I couldn't have been more wrong in my assumptions. I found out exactly how wrong I was two weeks into Yamato's relationship when he basically lost his mind when I kissed another man. That was crazy.

**Flashback**

I was standing in the hallway with one of my former teammates, you know, just catching up on all that I had missed, when he started hitting on me. That was weird. The only guy that ever hit on me up to that point was Yamato. Although, I don't think that walking up to me and doing whatever you want qualifies as flirting, but whatever. I was understandably flustered because of this.

"Yagami," I turned at the sound of my name being called.

"Tsukishiro," I said smiling. "I haven't seen you in a while. How are you?"

"As well as can be expected. School was kinda kicking my ass for a while there, just got everything worked out. How're things with you, Taichi?"

"Everything's been cool." I said avoiding the thought of Yamato.

"That's good," he said and started fidgeting nervously. "Um….there's something I've wanted to tell you for a while now and I've only just worked up the courage to do it," his eyes wandered and he kicked at the ground as he said this.

"Oh…?" I said wondering what was causing him to act so shyly.

"I like you, Taichi," he said finally locking his gaze with my own.

"Oh, I like you too," I said wondering why he would be scared to tell me that.

"No, Taichi. I _really_ like you," he reached out to cup the side of my face and I just stared at him in shock. "I know that this just came out of nowhere, but I have always liked you. I know you don't want to be with me and I respect that. But I just have one request for you and you'll never hear about this again."

"What could you possibly want from me? Scratch that. Why the hell do you even like me in the first place?"

"You're beautiful, Taichi," he whispered closing the gap between us. "You're energetic, you have a great sense of humor, you're athletic, and most importantly you're a good friend and teammate. What's not to like?" I blushed so hard I thought I'd pass out.

"And what is your request?" I asked incredibly embarrassed. The way he looked at me, the way he spoke. There was so much open admiration I didn't know what to do, how to feel. I was completely flustered. I felt like a hapless school girl that just got complemented by her crush. How…odd.

He moved closer to me, the hand on my cheek slipping into my hair, his other arm circling my waist. "A kiss," he whispered lips hovering above my own silently begging me to say yes. I felt like I was betraying Yamato for a second, then I remembered that Yamato had a girlfriend.

I tentatively pressed my lips against his and he deepened the kiss. I don't know how long we stood like that, one of Tsukishiro's arms around my waist the other buried in my hair, my arms around his neck. But I know how it felt. It felt so good to be in the arms of someone who thought so highly of me, someone who wanted to be with me because of who I was… someone who respected my feelings.

I started to wonder what it would be like to date Tsukishiro when I was violently pulled away from him. I blinked uncomprehendingly and was whirled around to come face to face with an irate Yamato. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he yelled.

I blinked still a bit shocked. "Um…"

I guess Yamato got tired of waiting for me to respond because he pushed me out of the way before he attacked Tsukishiro. "What the fuck did you think you were doing?"

"I was just talking to Taichi," he replied warily.

"Talking does not involve shoving your tongue down his throat, you jackass." Yamato grabbed Tsukishiro by his shirt collar and shoved him against a wall of lockers. "If I ever see you touching Tai again I'll kill you. Do you understand me?" he growled.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. How dare he tell me who I could be with? He had no right. "Yamato," I growled. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Yamato dropped Tsukishiro and turned on me. "What do I think I'm doing?" he asked incredulously. "I'm not the one making out with this boy," he spat while gesturing in Tsukishiro's general direction, "in the middle of the hallway as if I were free to do so."

"What the fuck are you talking about? I'm free to do whatever I want. I don't have ties to anyone, unlike you. You don't have a say in this Yamato. If you want to have a reason to get riled up, yell at the guy who kisses your girlfriend."

Yamato shoved me against the lockers and brought his face within an inch of my own. "Don't think you don't have ties to me just because I have a girlfriend," he whispered, "You will always be mine, Taichi." He then lowered his mouth to my own capturing it in a demanding kiss. When he pulled away he grabbed me by the hand and proceeded to drag me away behind him. "Touch him again and die bastard," he said as we passed Tsukishiro. I glared at him for that and Yamato increased his pace, I could only offer Tsukishiro a wave as we turned the corner.

**End Flashback**

_"You will always be mine, Taichi."_

Yamato is so fucking possessive. Why be possessive of someone when you won't acknowledge anything beyond friendship? When you have someone else? What the fuck does he expect me to do, pine away until he decides that he wants to fuck me? Why can he have someone else and I can't? Fucking Yamato. If it bothers him so much to see me with someone else how the hell does he think it makes me feel when I see him with Karen? Fuck this. If Yamato can be with someone else so can I, fuck him and his double standards. He already told me that I can date someone else if he was dating someone else. "_It's a mutually beneficial situation,"_ those words came out of his own mouth. And kissing Tsukishiro made me realize that I do want to be with someone else. In spite of all of the bitching I do about him, I actually enjoy sleeping with Yamato. It's fun. And I can never shake the curiosity I feel whenever I look at someone I find attractive. I always find myself wondering what that person would be like in bed--I never had thoughts like these before Yamato decided that he should take my virginity. But, I do think it's time that I did something to satisfy my curiosity.

It's been two weeks since the incident with Tsukishiro and Yamato has just barely calmed down about it. He has been ridiculously overbearing these past two weeks. Always skirting the edges of whatever room I happen to be in, sending me glares whenever he thinks I've been looking at someone too long, trying to monitor my phone calls and the people I have contact with. He pissed me off so bad one day that I slapped the shit out of him; he started to calm down after that, but just barely. He's been spending so much time with me lately that I wonder if he's even bothered to go see his girlfriend at all.

"Hey, Ishida," I said drawing Yamato's attention away from the science book he was reading.

He scowled at me. "What did I tell you about calling me that?" I just stared blankly.

"Have you talked to that girlfriend of yours lately?"

He raised an eyebrow at my question. "Why do you care?"

"Well, you've been spending so much time with me that I wonder if she's not feeling a bit lonely."

"So what if she is," he said unconcerned. "I already told you that you were important. She's not."

"You're such a jackass, Ishida. It's a wonder she agreed to date you."

Yamato merely shrugged unconcerned. "She knew that before she decided to date me. It's not like I bother to hide it."

"Just like you don't bother to hide anything else, right?" I muttered under my breath.

"What?" he asked shooting me a suspicious glare.

"Nothing."

"So you say," he said turning back to his book.

"Ishida," I said a few moments later.

"Stop calling me that, Taichi," he growled glaring.

I continued as if he hadn't said anything, "Did you see what Mimi-chan was wearing today?" I asked.

"Yeah," he replied raising an eyebrow, no doubt wondering where I was going with that question.

"That skirt she was wearing was positively sinful. Just when I thought the bitch couldn't get any hotter, she goes and proves me wrong. It's nice to be so pleasantly surprised." Yamato only stared at me in response. "I wonder if she'd let me fuck her if I tried." I said conversationally in an attempt to piss Yamato off. He's always making these types of comments to me but gets uptight whenever I say anything remotely similar.

"What the fuck did you just say," Yamato growled when he finally recovered from his shock.

"You heard me. It couldn't have been that hard to understand."

"Exactly when did you develop and interest in Mimi-chan?" he hissed eyes glaring holes into me.

"Why does that matter? It's not like you're not going to see me anymore if something were to happen between us."

"So you want to fuck Mimi, is that what you're saying?"

"You're a bit slow today, Yamato. You feeling ok?" I asked moving a hand to his forehead in a feigned attempt to check his temperature.

Yamato glared, "I'm fine you asshole," he growled standing up and shoving his belongings into his backpack and storming out of the room. "Go fuck Mimi, see what I care," he said on his way through the door.

"Have fun at your girlfriend's," I called after him and he slammed the door in response. I sighed in pleasure. I was rarely able to piss Yamato off and savored every moment of his discomfort whenever I did. It was satisfying to know that I had managed to make him feel the way he made me feel so easily on a daily basis. Let him be pissed off at the prospect of me fucking Mimi. It will probably work out to my advantage later on anyway. Yamato will become too focused on glaring at Mimi to notice that I have left his presence entirely. Yes, she would help provide a successful distraction.

Later that day the digidestined met up at the park for some bullshit get together that I really didn't feel like going to. I wasn't in the mood to be harassed by Mimi or Miyako who were totally convinced that I would look absolutely adorable in drag, or be nagged at by Koushiro and Jyou, or to be molested by Yamato and Sora. I just wanted to make Yamato miserable. Was that too much to ask?

I sat next to Daisuke when I reached the big tree near the back of the park. He turned to me as soon as I sat down, "Konnichiwa, Sempai," he said a slight smile upon his lips.

"Hello to you too, Dai-kun," I said smiling. Daisuke blushed in response.

"How have you been lately? I haven't talked to you in a while."

I felt a stab of guilt when he said that. I haven't been hanging out with my little protégé as much as I used to. "Oi, Dai-kun….?"

"Yeah…?"

"What are you doing this weekend?"

"Um…nothing," he stuttered blushing eyes looking everywhere but at me.

"You wanna go to a movie…? Play soccer in the park…? Hangout…?" I asked genuinely excited about the prospect of hanging out with him. I didn't realize how much I've missed Daisuke.

"Sure," he said a bright smile on his face.

"What are you guys talking about?" Yamato asked cold voice cutting through the joyous atmosphere.

"What do you care?" I snapped completely pissed off at the intrusion. Trust Yamato to be there to ruin something at the exact moment you're enjoying it the most. Yamato glared again and was about to respond but was prevented from doing so when Sora intervened.

"Stop it you guys. Now is not the time to be fighting."

"And I suppose you're the one to tell us when?" Yamato snapped.

"Whatever," I said as I stood and walked a short ways away. Daisuke followed me.

He grabbed a hold of my wrist, "Taichi-sempai," he whispered. "I'll still see you this weekend, right?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," I said smiling and brushing a hand across his cheek. He smiled at me and we sat down next to the small duck pond. We were granted a few moments of silence before Mimi and Miyako decided that they should start pestering me. I ended up having a pretty good time in spite of all of the harassment and the glares that Yamato kept giving me. I also found myself looking forward to spending time with Daisuke this weekend. Things were starting to look good.

xxxxxx

I spent most of Saturday getting ready to go see Daisuke. It was weird, I kept wondering what he would think of whatever it was I put on. I wanted to impress him--I have never thought such things unless I was going to meet Yamato somewhere. Needless to say, it was weird, but I was compelled to keep trying on outfits until I found one I thought he would like.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were getting ready for a date," Hikari commented when she passed by my room shortly after the madness began. But I ignored her. I didn't have time to get caught up in the trivial problems caused by siblings. She didn't know what the hell she was talking about anyway.

I was finally satisfied with something that I'd picked out ten minutes before I was supposed to meet Daisuke at the movie theater. I cursed under my breath and wondered how the hell I was supposed to get there on time. There was only one thing I could do actually and I really didn't want to do it. I finally gave in and picked up my cell dialing Yamato's number.

"What the hell do you want?" he growled into the receiver as soon as he picked up.

"What a nice way to greet all your callers," I preened sarcastically.

"Cut the shit, Taichi. What do you want?"

I sighed. I just knew I was going to hear shit for asking him this, but there was no way around it. "I need you to drop me off somewhere," I finally whispered.

"Oh really?" he asked interest peaked. "Drop you off where?"

"At the movie theater."

"Which movie theater?"

"The same one we always go to, jackass," I growled. Trust him to drag this shit out unnecessarily.

"Who are you meeting at the theater, Taichi?"

"What does it matter to you?" I snapped. "Will you take me or not?"

"I would say that it mattered because you're the one calling me to take you to meet someone else. Don't you think that's a bit harsh, Taichi?"

"Now is not the time for you to pull any of your dramatic bullshit, Yamato."

"Who are you meeting?" he asked again voice hard. I knew I wouldn't get away without answering the question.

"Daisuke," I finally sighed.

"Daisuke!" he screamed indignantly. "Daisuke! Are you seriously telling me that you're choosing a boy just barely out of puberty over me!"

"Oh my God, Yamato, he's one of our mutual friends. You make it sound like he's some random stranger I met on the street somewhere. We used to hangout all the time before you decided that you wanted to keep me under house arrest, you know that. Try not to act like a jealous schoolgirl just because I asked you to take me to meet a friend," he's so fucking unbelievable.

"Whatever. I'll be at you're place in a few," he said and hung up. I know I'm going to catch shit for this; Yamato gets ridiculously jealous for no reason.

Yamato showed up at my place a few minutes later and we headed for the theater. "So, this is what you were talking to Daisuke about in the park the other day, huh?"

"What amazing deductive skills you have," I said rolling my eyes.

Yamato glared not appreciating the comment. "You planning on anything happening between you guys?" he asked after a moment glancing at me from the corner of his eye.

I looked at him startled. "No, why would you ask that?"

"I don't know," he said voice aloof. "Daisuke definitely has an interest in you, I've been wondering if were interested in him as well."

"Stop asking questions that don't concern you," I said wondering why he would think that Daisuke of all people was attracted to me.

"You don't have to believe me, baby," he said glancing at me. "Just know that I'm right," we then pulled in front of the theater and I moved to get out of the car.

"Thanks for the ride, Yama," I whispered opening the door.

Yamato grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me back into the car and the door closed behind me. "What makes you think you can just walk away from me like that?"

"What the fuck, Yamato?" I asked just about at the end of my rope where he was concerned for that day.

He reached out a hand to cup my face and claimed my lips in a fierce breathtaking kiss. "When you finish with him, come find me," he whispered against my lips once he pulled away. I could only nod my head in response and left the car panting certain that if I stayed I would never make it inside the theater.

I was assaulted by light and sound as soon as I stepped into the lobby and I spent a couple of minutes looking around before I spotted Daisuke. "Hey, Dai-chan," I said when I reached him and he whirled around in surprise.

"Hi, sempai," he said cheeks stained red. Maybe Yamato wasn't just talking out of his ass when he said Daisuke was interested. Then again according to Yamato, everyone is interested.

"So, what did you want to see?" he had no clue and neither did I. We ended up watching some cheesy sci-fi thriller that turned out to be chock full of things to mock. We had a really good time. Although, there were a couple of times when I caught Daisuke paying more attention to me than the movie; there was also the time where I could swear he wanted to hold my hand but was unsure if he should try. So maybe, this did turn out to be a date, but it was a good one. I enjoy spending time with Daisuke.

We left the theater still mocking the horrifically wonderful film and managed to make it halfway to the park before Daisuke tripped over a little kid that came careening around a corner. It was funny as hell although neither of us could figure out what the hell a kid was doing out of doors after nine o'clock at night. "It's been nice hanging out with you today," I said as we seated ourselves on a swing set once we reached the park.

"I had a nice time too," Daisuke said as yet another blush graced his features. He looked so cute like that that I finally gave into the compulsion to lean forward and kiss him. One of my hands slipped into his hair settling at the base of his neck and I slowly pulled him forward. His breath quickened and his lips parted and when at last my lips touched his I plundered his mouth as if I were a dying man indulging in his last chance at pleasure.

Daisuke moaned and his arms slipped around my neck as I brought my other arm around his waist. "Taichi-sempai," he moaned as I trailed kisses from his mouth along his jaw, down his neck, gently nipping his skin as I went. I moved to pull him closer and we fell off of the swings we were seated on. I laughed out of breath and crawled over to where Daisuke was sprawled and claimed his lips again. He whined and arched into me, arms slipping underneath my shirt. The feel of his hands on my body excited me and I wanted him more than anything in that moment. I couldn't have stopped myself if I tried and Daisuke certainly didn't seem to mind.

To be continued…..

A/N: Feedback would be greatly appreciated. It would be even better if it were criticism, but let's keep it constructive people. I thank you in advance for your comments; they help me improve my horrendously pitiful writing skills. .


	4. Running with Scissors

**Yo-Yo**

Chapter 4: Running with Scissors

By: ChaoticSpecter

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, I do not own anything pertaining to Digimon; I'm just a fanatic that likes to write fiction containing its characters.

**A/N: This fic contains shonen ai**. If you are opposed to relationships between males, please hit the back button on your browser. Everyone else, enjoy. I just want to take a moment to let my reviewers know how much I appreciate you taking the time to read my tacky work of fiction and going that step further and reviewing. You guys are awesome and I really do appreciate the reviews.

I sat on a bench a couple blocks from Yamato's apartment, smoking a cigarette as I thought about what I had just done with Daisuke. I had never had an impure thought about the boy until tonight and I just acted on it. That was very impulsive of me; but I don't regret doing it. I could never have imagined that my little protégé would make such a fantastic bed partner. I can still hear him moaning, feel him arching into me, and feel his warm breath brushing against my neck. It was intense, Daisuke was so passionate and willing; it was like he had been waiting for this to happen for a long time. I know now that Yamato was serious when he said that Daisuke actually liked me.

I want to talk to him about that, but I don't think that Dai-kun is interested in anything serious between us. He told me that he really enjoyed himself and he wouldn't mind this happening again and I shared his sentiments. I wouldn't mind hooking up with him again if the opportunity arose. He certainly is fun to sleep with. Only next time I hope we're somewhere more comfortable than a sandbox. While in the moment the sand is not that much of a bother, it's after the fact that it becomes a problem. I finished off my cigarette and stared at it a moment remembering a time I hated the damn things (yet another habit I'd picked up from Yamato), before I tossed the butt into a nearby trashcan and walked the last couple blocks separating me from Yamato's apartment.

When I reached his apartment, I knocked a couple of times and waited for him to answer. I hoped that Yamato wasn't feeling in a particularly bitchy mood because he took me to see Daisuke. For all I know, he told me to come over here so that he could answer the door half dressed and panting because he and Karen were in the middle of a make out session--He actually did this once. I was feeling good and I really didn't want to deal with his bullshit. When the door creaked open a half dressed, sleep tousled Yamato greeted me. I raised an eyebrow in question and Yamato blinked.

"Oh, hey baby," he said, voice scratchy. "I thought you weren't going to show up." He rubbed at his eyes and made room for me to enter his apartment, closing and locking the door behind me.

"You were sleeping…?" I asked skeptically and Yamato gave me a blank stare. "Since when do you go to sleep this early, Yamato?"

"It's almost midnight, Tai," he stated flatly pointing at a clock. I shrugged and gave a sheepish smile. Yamato shook his head. "So, what took you so long to get here?" he asked, steering me towards his room.

"Nothing. We just watched a movie and hung out. Lost track of time I guess." How the hell did I spend an hour two blocks down the street from his house?

"What movie did you see?" By now we had reached his room and Yamato leapt onto his bed and crawled under the blankets.

"I don't remember," I said and Yamato raised a suspicious eyebrow. "It was some cheesy sci-fi thriller, I don't remember the title," I continued, answering his unasked question and starting to ready myself for sleep. "But I do remember mocking the hell out of it. You wouldn't believe how shitty the effects or the plot were. You would have had fun mocking it too, Yama." I turned to look at him when I'd finished undressing and crawled into bed with him.

"I take it you had a good time then," he said slipping his arms around me and pulling me close.

"Yeah," I replied snuggling into his embrace. I loved the feel of Yamato's arms around me. Yamato chuckled lightly in my ear before giving it a playful nip.

"Did you do anything after you saw the movie?" he mumbled, already half asleep again.

"We went to the park and talked for a while before I took him home," I yawned, my sleepiness finally catching up to me.

"Hmmm," Yamato brushed his lips against mine and tightened his hold on me and I knew he was asleep. I only managed to stay awake a few moments more before I too fell into the world of slumbers.

xxxxxx

I awoke early the next morning, still wrapped securely within Yamato's arms and stared. I never woke up before Yamato, like ever. This was just something that didn't happen. So I stared at him like a dumbass for about five minutes before I finally got over my surprise and actually looked at him. I mean, _really_ looked at him. I spend almost everyday with Yamato, but I am rarely afforded the time to actually appreciate his beauty when he's unconscious. Admiring Yamato's beauty while he is conscious is an ordeal. He absolutely always has to kill whatever nice thought I have about him by saying or doing something that completely pisses me off and makes me want to kill him--it's written in the stars. I swear it's like the fucker can read my mind. As soon as I start thinking anything along the lines 'God, Yamato is gorgeous' he opens up his mouth and immediately proceeds to murder the thought and make me feel like a jackass for thinking it.

I took advantage of the time afforded to me by whatever deity that decided I deserved a break, no matter how small. I reached out and brushed aside the gold strands obscuring Yamato's face, taking in the lax features. Gone were the ever present frown lines between his brows, the sneer always hovering around the edges of his mouth, the glare in his eyes, and the gel in his hair. I loved Yamato's hair, probably just as much as he did, but he was always reluctant to let me touch it. It was rare when Yamato would just let me run my fingers through it outside of sex, but whenever he let me, I reveled in it. His hair was so soft and smooth and beautiful, he didn't have to do anything to it really; but he always felt the need to apply gel, Ishida Yamato couldn't possibly leave his apartment without having his hair perfectly styled, now could he?

I ran my fingers through his hair a few times and Yamato sighed, pulling me even closer. Once he settled, I studied Yamato's face once again. My eyes traced his entire face, taking everything in. The set of his jaw, his high cheekbones, his nose, his mouth, his eyes… I desperately wanted Yamato to be awake then. I wanted to see his eyes, see his smile, I wanted to feel him. I brought up a hand and cupped Yamato's cheek, using my thumb to trace his lips. I moved my face closer to his, my breath brushing his skin, my entire being focused on tasting him. I tentatively brushed my lips against his before moving to deepen the kiss. The moment my tongue entered Yamato's mouth I was hit by a wave of desire and I moaned into him helplessly. I broke away from his mouth gasping, grinding into Yamato, and trailed kisses along his jaw, settling at his ear. "Yama," I whined. Oh God, how I needed him. "Yama, please."

Yamato's eyes fluttered open and he stared at me blearily, "Tai-chan…?" he asked confused.

"Yama, please," I said, grinding into him yet again, "I need you." Nothing else needed to be said. Yamato shifted, positioning himself on top of me, and proceeded to give exactly what I needed. When all was said and done I was a boneless mass on his mattress. God, I felt good.

"To what do I owe the occasion?" Yamato asked, lazily dragging his fingers through my hair.

"There was no reason, Yama. Just cause you're you."

"You telling me you got all turned on because I was asleep?" he asked raising a skeptical eyebrow. Gotta love him when he's sleeping.

"Something like that," Yamato just stared. "I got turned on cause you're hot, you moron."

"I know I'm hot, Yagami. But you don't usually wake me up just so you can jump me, that's more my style," he said flashing me a lecherous grin.

I laughed, "I don't usually wake up before you, now do I? This is actually the first time that this has happened, I hope you enjoyed it, cause this is certainly a once in a lifetime event." Yamato snorted.

We lay like that for a few more moments before Yamato spoke again. "I know you slept with Daisuke last night," he said eyes boring into my own, daring me to deny it. I was shocked. How the hell could he know that unless he was stalking me?

"What?" was all I was able to get out.

"You heard me. I know you slept with Daisuke."

"How could you know that?"

"I told you, you're too honest, Taichi, you give yourself away without realizing it." I just stared at him. "When you showed up here last night you reeked of cigarette smoke. You only smoke for two reasons and I didn't piss you off or fuck you last night."

"Wow," was all I could think to say in response to that. How stupid could I be? Fucking cigarettes, "But what does it matter? It's not changing anything between us now is it?"

"Just letting you know how fruitless your attempts to hide anything of that nature from me would be," he said, moving away from me. "Don't bother trying to hide something when you're utterly incapable of doing so," he said this on his way out of the room. Well, I guess he's pissed, but not as pissed as he could be. I'm guessing he doesn't feel threatened by Daisuke. But he felt severely threatened by Tsukishiro, a guy I barely have contact with. That's really weird. I got out of bed and went in search of Yamato.

"Yama," I said when I found him in the kitchen. He didn't bother answering me so I continued. "Why did you freak out when you found me kissing Tsukishiro-kun?"

Yamato turned to face me and glared. "Why wouldn't I be angry when I find you with another man, Taichi?"

"You didn't freak out last night or even a few minutes ago about Daisuke, and I slept with him. Why freak out over a harmless kiss and not my fucking someone else?"

"Daisuke is Daisuke. However, that bastard Tsukishiro is a completely different matter."

"You do realize that you're not making any sense, right?" I asked, eyebrow raised and Yamato's glare hardened in response.

"I'm not discussing this with you," he said and turned his back on me.

"Yamato--"

"I broke up with Karen yesterday," he said, voice soft. I was shocked to say the least.

"What?"

"I said I broke up with her," he said turning around to face me yet again. "You happy?" he asked his eyes studying me intently. Happy couldn't adequately describe what I was feeling at that moment. I was ecstatic, I felt bubbly inside. I wanted to laugh and dance. I never realized how jealous I was of that girl until this moment.

"As a matter of fact I am," I said grinning and then another thought occurred to me, "Who did you replace her with?" I asked suddenly suspicious.

Yamato laughed, "I didn't replace her with anybody, Taichi. I figured I'd stay unattached, you seem happier that way." I could only stare at him a few moments before responding.

"That's very thoughtful of you," was all I could think to say. How ironic, the day Yamato decides to do something nice for me I act on impulse and fuck someone else. Weird.

Yamato moved closer to me smiling, "I'm glad you think so," he said placing a chaste kiss on my lips. I hugged him in response. I was truly grateful that he did something completely unselfish. I know he liked Karen, sleeping with her at least, and that he gave her up for me made me very happy. But that didn't mean that I forgave him for everything he did to me, it didn't even come close. But it was a step in the right direction. Yamato slipped his arms around my waist holding me and I buried my face in his neck and tightened my hold on him. We stood like that for a while before Yamato started to pull away. "You have practice today," he reminded me and pointed at the clock. "Go get ready, I'll take you," he said gently pushing me away. I nodded and headed toward the shower.

xxxxxx

I was wandering around town aimlessly one afternoon killing time because I had a couple of hours until Yamato finished whatever the hell he was doing when I ran into Tsukishiro again. "Tsukishiro," I called as I approached him.

"Yagami, how are you?" he seemed hesitant to speak with me.

"I'm well. How are you?" I asked smiling. I was happy to see him, I've wanted to talk to him for a while, but he has been very evasive as of late.

"Ishida isn't here with you is he?" he asked eyes darting around nervously. I touched his arm and sweat broke out on his brow.

I chuckled a little at that. "No, Yama isn't here, you can relax." I said in an attempt to calm him.

"Are you sure…? He isn't going to pop up out of nowhere threatening to kill me again, is he?" he asked while subtly stepping away from me.

"Yamato happens to be on the other side of the city right now. So, unless he suddenly developed superpowers, I think it's pretty safe to assume that he won't be making any unexpected appearances," Tsukishiro breathed a sigh of relief and I laughed. "Are you willing to speak with me now?" I asked giving him a small smile.

He blushed slightly before stuttering a response, "O--Of course," he said before taking my hand in his and leading me in the direction he was headed when I called out to him. "We can talk in the café I was headed to, it's pretty small and quiet," he said glancing at me. I just smiled.

"I've been wondering something, Yu-kun," I said once we were seated at the café and Tsukishiro looked up in surprise, blush spreading across his cheeks at the endearment. "How long have you been attracted to me?"

"Well…I've always liked you, Yagami-san," he said staring at his hands.

"Call me Tai, Yue, we've known each other long enough to drop the formalities, don't you think?"

"Why are you asking me this, Tai? I told you I wouldn't bring it up again and you're already dating Ishida-san."

I laughed and he looked at me in confusion. "I'm not dating Yamato."

"Then why did he react like that when he saw us in the hallway? I don't understand."

"Yamato has the tendency to be a bit possessive and seeing as I'm his best friend he tends to be overly possessive of me."

"But he kissed you, there's more to it than friendship. If the intimacy you two share makes him so jealous, why aren't you two dating?"

"Because that isn't what we want right now. Look, I've talked to Yamato and the issue has been settled. You don't have to worry about Ishida Yamato trying to kill you just for talking to me. Although it would probably help if you did it when he wasn't around, otherwise you'd have to put up with his glaring and believe you me that shit gets old real fast. Its better not to have to deal with it at all," Yamato hadn't exactly agreed with me when we discussed this, but Yue didn't need to know that.

"So you guys are just friends with benefits…?" he asked a little uncertainly.

I nodded, "Yama just got used to having me to himself, but it's not a problem anymore," I was going to say more when the waitress showed up with our order. Yue thanked her and turned his attention back to me smiling softly.

"Does this mean that you can see someone else without Ishida-san becoming enraged…?" he asked, hope shining in his eyes.

"It does," I said giving him a shy smile. Tsukishiro blushed in response. The rest of our meal passed in a companionable silence. I sat contemplating the conversation while Yue alternated between giving me shy glances and staring out the window.

As I sat reflecting on my conversation with Yue, I realized why Yamato felt so threatened by him. He felt threatened because Tsukishiro treated me completely different than he did, Tsukishiro would have no qualms about showering me with his affection; he would give me everything that Yamato wouldn't. He was actually a threat to Yamato and Yamato acted accordingly. Daisuke on the other hand is more concerned with keeping my friendship than anything else. He desires me, yes, but my friendship will always come first and Yamato knows this. Therefore, there is no real reason for him to feel threatened. The same probably goes for the rest of the digidestined as well. Everyone else is just considered a threat. I probably wouldn't have realized this if it weren't for my conversation with Yue, well maybe I would have, but it would have taken a bit longer to get there; I was just too close to the situation to realize it on my own.

We finished our meal and left the little café talking amiably about everything and nothing. It has been a while since I have talked to someone like this and it felt good. It was nice to be around someone who was willing to listen to all the idiotic thoughts that went through your head and have them reciprocate. It was something akin to sex for the mind. It was fucking awesome and one of my favorite things to do; only the person I was talking to now was not the person I usually talked to. I gave a mental sigh, why don't you talk to me anymore, Yamato? I wondered and felt a small wave of depression wash over me. I sulked for a couple of seconds before I remembered that I had to meet Yamato, depression was immediately replaced by panic and I grabbed onto Yue desperately. Yue started in shock and looked at me in question.

"I just remembered that I have to meet Yamato," I managed to get out in the midst of panic. "What time is it?" I asked desperately hoping I could get there on time.

Tsukishiro raised an eyebrow at my panicky state and glanced at his watch. "It's 3:30," he said and I wailed the feeling of abject hopelessness washing over me.

"Oh no, oh no," I cried hands fisting in my hair. "I'll never make it on time. Yamato's going to kill me," I shuddered at the thought of the lecture I was going to get for this as well as the pissy mood I was going to have to deal with on top of the interrogation. God, this was ridiculous. I shouldn't be panicking over this, but that just goes to show how much I let Yamato affect me.

"Uh…I could give you a ride wherever you need to go," Yue offered and I tackled him in a fierce hug causing him to turn an interesting shade of red.

"Thank you so much," I said, voice filled with gratitude. After having managed to peel me off of him, Tsukishiro lead me to his car and proceeded to take me to Yamato.

"Thanks again," I said once Tsukishiro parked a couple of blocks from Yamato's house. "I really appreciate it."

Yue smiled shyly at my show of gratitude. "It was no problem, really," he said, blush forming on his cheeks.

"I had a nice time with you today, Yu-kun, thanks for everything," I said leaning in for a quick kiss just to see his reaction. He was just too cute when he was embarrassed. I started to pull away after the first tentative brush of lips when Yue surprised me by moving in and deepening the kiss. One of his hands found its way into my hair, his thumb gently massaging the nape of my neck and I moaned leaning further into him. When he finally pulled away I was left panting, breathless after his thorough assault of my mouth.

Yue smiled softly against my lips before giving me one last lingering kiss and pulling away completely. "I enjoyed myself as well, Taichi, it would be nice if we could spend time together again," he said blushing softly.

"I would like that," I said a small blush creeping across my cheeks despite myself. Yue smiled brightly in response. "Thanks again," I said before leaving the car and making my way toward Yamato's apartment. Things were definitely starting to get interesting. I was no closer to figuring out my situation with Yamato, but I had slept with Daisuke and I would have no qualms about sleeping with Yue if it did happen. It's funny how much people change in such a short amount of time. It's almost been a year and I've changed so much, all because of Yamato. Why is it that everything always comes back to him? Always Yamato. Always.

To be continued…….

Throw rocks, yell, scream, set things on fire….riot to your hearts content. Just don't forget to review. I'll really appreciate it.

A/N: Updates will take a little while longer than usual for me to get out for the next little while because I have finals coming up. Just giving any of you interested a heads up.


	5. Tumbling down the rabbit hole

**Yo-Yo**

Chapter 5: Tumbling down the rabbit hole

By: ChaoticSpecter

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, I own nothing that has anything to do with Digimon. This means that everything I am writing is for entertainment only.

**A/N:** This fic contains shonen-ai. If this offends you in any way, please hit the back button on your browser. Those of you remaining, enjoy.

Things with Daisuke have been interesting as of late. I've always loved hanging out with him and up until this point I did not think that our relationship could get any better than it was, but I was wrong. We actually became closer after that night in the park; if things between us were chill before that night now they were fucking awesome. I love it. The freedom that comes with being with someone you trust implicitly and just exploring every aspect of your sexuality without fear of judgment. It's the same thing I feel whenever I'm with Yamato-- only I don't get hurt because Daisuke's not an asshole. This of course means that I have been spending more time than usual with Daisuke, which means that Yamato is pissed a majority of the time--something I'm entirely too thrilled about. But I think 'hey he makes me miserable all the time, it's only fair that he feel the way I do'.

I have noticed that a lot of my happiness these past months has been in large part due to Yamato's moodiness. Whenever he's miserable, I am happy. This used to be so much different; where I used to do something to make him happy, I now do whatever I can to make him feel worse. This saddens me really. Yamato is still my best friend in spite of how fucked up things have been between us lately. Yes, I know it's hard to believe with how dysfunctional our relationship has been but it's true. In spite of everything he has done to me, I love Yamato. He is still the most important person for me. He will always have a special place in my heart. Everything that has happened so far makes me wonder why exactly that is; not why he is special or why he means so much, but why I can't let him go no matter what. That has to mean something, I know it does, but I just keep missing it and I know it's because I'm too close to the situation.

But Daisuke is awesome. He helps me forget about all of the shit I've been going through with Yamato. He has replaced Yamato in a sense; where I used to go to Yamato whenever I had a problem, I now go to Daisuke. We play soccer, go to the movies, or just hang out at each others houses doing nothing. I can just be myself with him; I haven't been able to just be for a while. It's nice to have someone to go to when you need to.

Daisuke and I were in the hallway during lunch talking about nothing in particular when an idea struck me. "Hey, Dai-chan," I said in a husky whisper, pushing him against a row of lockers in a deserted portion of the hallway we were in. "Wanna fool around a little?" I asked brushing my lips against his neck. Daisuke shivered slightly in response.

"I'd love to, but we're supposed to meet the others in the computer lab remember?"

"Yeah, _after_ we eat," I said pushing myself closer and ghosting my lips across his. "It's still the beginning of the lunch period, we got time," I finished claiming his mouth in a bruising kiss.

Daisuke abruptly broke away from the kiss panting heavily, "Let's do this," he growled before grabbing me by the hand and dragging me in the general direction of the janitor's closet. Needless to say, we were late for the meeting, but getting to hear Daisuke's gasping moans and whimpers of pleasure had been well worth the lectures.

The rest of the week was pretty normal, well as normal as anything ever got around me lately. Yamato was a little bitchier than usual for some reason, and this was impressive considering how bitchy he has been this last month, and I could swear he was attempting to see if he could actually kill me with his mood swings, but that's neither here nor there. The whole point of it was that I was losing patience. Fast. I'm just getting so fed up with everything, the dysfunction of it all. This entire situation is so perverse it makes me sick to think about it. What's so bad about this whole thing is that I think I'm starting to hate Yamato even as I cling to him like the needy little school girl I am; what's worse is I think I'm starting to hate myself. I have become someone I don't recognize any more, I have done things I never thought I'd do; felt things I never thought I'd feel. In changing himself, Yamato has changed me and I want to hate him for it, but I can't. That's what makes this so hard. How do I reconcile my best friend hurting me in such a way, my letting him do this to me without a fight, the things I've done to deal with the pain?

This is too much for any one person to deal with. Yama how could you do this to me? I don't think the whole situation would be so bad, so emotionally draining, if I had a real reason as to why Yamato was acting the way he was. It would still hurt yes, but I'd at least have a reason. Right now everything Yamato does contradicts something he says or vice versa. It's so fucking confusing and frustrating to have to deal with him when he keeps acting like this. Sometimes I wonder if he thinks our situation is as fucked up as I do. If he did we'd at least have a common space to start working it out but that's just wishful thinking. Yamato and I have not spoken to each other since any of this began and it's hard for me to believe that things will ever go back to the way they were. Not that that could ever happen in light of everything that has occurred this past year, but I would like to be able to talk to him again. I'm so tired of being cautious around him, it doesn't feel right. Yamato has hurt my feelings in more ways than I thought possible and still all I want at the end of the day is to be able to go to him and talk, have him hold me, anything. I just want my best friend and I'm starting to get desperate, so desperate that the only way I can deal with him any more is to make him angry. I'm so tired of being mad at him, for wanting to hurt him because he hurt me. I don't know how much longer I can hold up; I don't know how I've held up this long. I'm so tired of thinking about this; all I do is think in circles. I need to get away from Yamato, I need to think, but he will never leave me alone. It seems like the longer shit goes on, the more obsessive Yamato gets about controlling me. I don't understand it. I'm going to give myself a migraine if I keep this up.

Daisuke and I went to the park to hang out at the swing set yesterday-- it's become one of our favorite spots to hang out since the first night we were together--and he told me about his new crush. I laughed hysterically when he told me who it was. Ken. He was falling for Ken and he was falling hard. Had been for a while actually but was too caught up in his admiration of me to see it. I was happy our little tryst had worked out so well for him. He got to be with me like he wanted and he was able to realize his feelings for his best friend. I was happy for him. I really was, but I couldn't help feeling a little sad. I knew Ken wouldn't treat Daisuke the way Yamato was treating me and I felt just a little bit jealous. We decided that we should stop sleeping together so that Daisuke could devote his full attention to Ken and I bought him lunch in a show of support for his newly blossoming emotions.

I haven't seen Yue at all the past couple of weeks. He's sent me a couple of e-mails and we've chatted online a few times, but that's about it. I feel kind of sad about that because Yue is going away to college in a few weeks and we are going to see very little of each other when he does. We've grown close over the past little while and I feel very reluctant to give that up. He's just so easy to talk to, I like hanging out with him; we talk about everything. Sometimes we make out, sometimes we don't; most of the time he's just taking me somewhere he thinks I'd like and we just lay around in comfortable silence. I think I like Yue so much because he reminds me of what Yamato used to be like. They aren't carbon copies or anything like that and I don't only like Yue because of the nostalgia he inspires in me, these are all minor reasons. When I say that he reminds me of the way Yamato used to be, I mean that he's very relaxed around me. He's not guarded at all, he's willing to share all of himself with me in the time that we have together. That was why he approached me, he didn't want to go away without having ever said anything about what he felt; he didn't want any regrets. I admire that about him, he took such a risk without even knowing that I was attracted to men. In that way, he's a lot like Yamato.

I seriously want to bang my head against a wall right now. Why is it that no matter what I try to think about my thoughts always come back to Yamato? If he were in my face right now I'd choke him. I'm so tired of all this shit; I just want it to be over. Why can't it be over?

xxxxxxx

Yamato wanted me to meet him in the park after soccer practice today. I was a little wary about doing so because he was still being bitchier than usual and I still didn't know the reason why. I was seriously starting to get paranoid, Yamato was acting so angry and I could tell that this anger was directed at me, but he never said anything. He let whatever is bothering him fester for damn near two weeks, which is a fucking miracle because Yamato never keeps his anger hidden where I'm concerned. So, I just know that something I won't like is going to happen.

I stepped through the park gates and a feeling of dread immediately washed over me, I really had a bad feeling about this, but I was just so tired of fighting with Yamato. If I didn't show up, we would fight and I didn't want that. I'm tired of making him angry, it makes me feel better for a little while, but it doesn't accomplish anything. What I really want to do is sit down and actually talk to Yamato. I know it'll be hard in the beginning, but it'll get better and maybe by the time we're done talking we'll both have the answers we need, that is if Yamato wants any answers to begin with. This is the only way I see us going back to the way we were. This way Yamato will actually talk to me again.

As I neared the spot Yamato and I normally met, I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of gasping moans. I looked around automatically to find the source so that I could avoid it and was shocked to find that the sounds came from the boy Yamato currently had pinned beneath him in the very spot we were supposed to be meeting. I so fucking knew this was a bad idea. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. This was worse than Yamato's sudden announcement about Karen, this was so much worse. I wanted to cry.

I turned to walk away before becoming overcome by a wave of rage. I had taken so much abuse from Yamato this past year, never once lifting a finger to defend myself, not until he hurt me so much that I had to. But this was something that I could not just take lying down. He could fuck whoever he wanted to, but I'd be damned if he got so callous as to start throwing that shit in my face when he asked me to meet him.

"What the fuck to you think you are doing Ishida Yamato!" I yelled enraged as I turned back to face them. Yamato abruptly pulled away from the boy startled eyes finding mine before he stood up to greet me. His friend followed his cue and picked himself up straightening his clothes.

"Oh, hey baby," he smiled once recognition broke through his momentary shock. The nerve of this bastard.

"I asked you a question, Ishida," I growled.

Yamato raised an eyebrow in response, "Honestly, Tai-chan, what did it look like I was doing?"

"I'm being serious, you asshole," I seethed. "How dare you ask me to come meet you when you knew damn well what you would be doing when I got here." I was so beyond pissed. I have seriously reached my breaking point. All traces of amusement vanished from Yamato's face.

"Um….I didn't know he had a boyfriend," the boy he was with whispered in the ensuing silence and Yamato and I turned startled eyes on him having completely forgotten that he was there.

"I'm not his fucking boyfriend!" I yelled enraged. The boy threw me a confused look before turning to Yamato for answers.

"Why is he so angry if he isn't your boyfriend?" he asked Yamato in confusion.

"That isn't any of your business," Yamato snapped and the boy started at his harsh tone. "I think you should go; things obviously aren't going to be progressing the way you thought they were," he nodded slowly in response and turned to leave, but not before apologizing to me once again. Once he was out of sight Yamato turned to me sighing, "What is your problem, Tai?"

"My problem?" I laughed. "Tell me Yamato, why is it that you always assume that I'm the one with the problem?"

"I don't know, it might have something to do with your screaming at me, Taichi," he growled.

"I'm tired of this shit. I'm tired of you Yamato; I'm tired of everything you do to me. I'm not putting up with any of it anymore."

"What?" Yamato asked confusion clear in his voice.

"Why are you confused? You couldn't possibly have thought that I would put up with this shit forever. Or did you?" I asked giving a self-depreciating laugh. "I wouldn't put it past you."

"Tai…?"

"You asked me to meet you here; I wasn't going to come by the park at all today. You could have fooled around with that boy all day in this exact spot and I wouldn't have cared, but that isn't what happened. You asked me to come; you wanted me to find you like that with someone else. The question is why. So, tell me Yamato, why would you be so deliberately hurtful?"

"It's not like you've never seen me with other people, Taichi," he snapped. "Why the hell are you getting so angry over this?"

"Maybe because you've never been disrespectful enough to do something like this before," I seethed. "If you want to fuck other people, you will. I obviously can't stop you. But I will not tolerate your deliberate displays when you ask me to meet you anywhere. I refuse to accept such disrespect from you."

"It's funny that you feel this way when you have showed me the same disrespect on numerous occasions." Honestly, I was shocked at this response. I didn't know how to respond for a couple of seconds.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You and Daisuke--"

"Have never done a damn thing in front of you! Besides, I'm not even seeing him anymore."

"No, you haven't, but you fool around in places I'm sure to find you." I merely raised an eyebrow at him shaking my head. "I saw you last week you know," he growled. "Saw him touching you, kissing you…..that bastard," he looked extremely pissed.

"Saw us where?" I asked immediately suspicious. Yamato refused to answer. "I asked you a question, Yamato. If you're going to accuse me of disrespecting you, you better have a hell of a lot more to back up your statement than jealousy."

"I'm not jealous!" he yelled. "I saw that fucker touching you in the janitor's closet."

"Were you spying on me?" I asked immediately enraged.

"No, you know I wouldn't invade your privacy like that," I raised an eyebrow at that. "I'm not interested in seeing you with other people Taichi, I wouldn't search you out to do so," he said seriously.

"Then what the hell were you doing in the janitor's closet?"

He sighed heavily before answering. "I was with someone else when I was there. We were going in and I saw you, you guys forgot to lock the door," he said running a hand through his hair. "I locked the door for you guys and left."

"So that's why you did this…?" I asked comprehension dawning. "You deliberately set this up to hurt me the way I hurt you?" Yamato looked away from me refusing to respond. "You're a fucking moron. You walking in on me was an accident, I didn't want to hurt you while I was with Daisuke. What you did is completely different. And while you may have been hurt when you saw us, it doesn't give you a legitimate excuse to do this." Yamato glared.

"I don't like seeing you with other people," he growled. "You're only supposed to be with me."

"Why be so possessive of me when you're obviously not willing to commit to me?" I asked steadily.

"I told you, you will always be mine, Taichi. No one can take you from me."

"Just shut up. You aren't saying anything to explain why you're acting the way you are and telling me that you're doing it because you want to isn't going to cut it anymore." I growled. "You're supposed to be my best friend Yamato, but I can honestly say at this point in my life, that no one has ever hurt me more than you. Do you know how that makes me feel? Do you even care? I don't even know if you do anymore; you always seem to go out of your way to do whatever you can to hurt me. That's not how my best friend is supposed to act. I don't even know how to feel about you anymore, Yamato," I was so fed up with him and everything I let him do to me.

"Of course I care, Taichi," Yamato screamed angrily. "I'm not doing any of this on purpose, it just happens."

"So you mean to tell me that dating, Karen was an accident? That using me was an accident? That your practically fucking that guy in the exact place you were supposed to be meeting me was an accident?"

"I get your point, Taichi," he growled. "But you can't complain about my being with other people because you are just as guilty as me."

"That is just during this past month, before it was all you. Don't try to make it seem like something it's not. I figured if you were doing it, why not me? You had Karen, I didn't have anybody and I wasn't going to wait around for you like a helpless little fuck toy."

"You could have been with someone else sooner; the only one stopping you was you."

"No the only one stopping me was you, Yamato. Do you not remember the way you reacted when you saw me in the hallway with, Tsukishiro? The same day you hooked up with Karen no less. But I'm the only one stopping me. You spend so much time threatening me and trying to make me jealous when you really don't have to do any of that. I would be with you Yamato, if you only wanted to be with me, but you don't and I'm tired of your shit. Just figure out what you want to do."

"Tsukishiro had no right to touch you. That bastard," he seethed. I just shook my head and started to walk away, I needed to clear my head and think about this. I mean really think about it, I hadn't actually sat down and thought about everything in a while. It couldn't hurt to try to put it all into perspective again could it?

I had barely taken five steps before Yamato's hand wrapped around my wrist. "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"You don't actually think I'm going out with you after all of this, do you?" I asked incredulously.

"No," he sighed. "I just don't want you out wandering the streets alone. Promise me you'll be safe?" he asked brushing a strand of hair out of my face. I felt tears sting my eyes. It had been so long since I've been able to recognize my best friend. I pulled Yamato into a hug promising him that I'd be safe before pulling away and leaving him in the park. We both had a lot of thinking to do.

I wandered around for a couple of hours before I ended up at that café I went to with Yue. I went in and ordered a cup of coffee before settling down in a booth to do some thinking. I sat in that café for maybe two hours drinking coffee and smoking these fucking cigarettes thinking about all the shit that has happened between me and Yamato the past year. But that was hard for me to do for any real length of time because I just couldn't get the image of Yamato towering over that boy out of my head. Seeing that hurt me so badly, it was a physical pain felt deep within my heart. I never thought that Yamato would deliberately do something like that to me. My eyes burned and I bowed my head in an attempt to stem the tears, but I was fighting a losing battle; I had reached my breaking point for the day.

I cried for the first time in years pouring out all of the pain I've been holding inside; my fear of losing my relationship with Yamato, my fear of losing myself, my fear of what I could become. I just wanted everything to go back to the way they were. Why did Yamato have to kiss me? Why did he do any of the things he did? Why'd he have to change everything?

To be continued……

A/N: Leave your thoughts. Sorry it took so long to get this out; hopefully this was worth the wait.


	6. Hit the ground running

Yo-Yo 

Chapter 6: Hit the ground running

By: ChaoticSpecter

**Disclaimer:** Alas, I own nothing pertaining to Digimon…

**A/N:** This work of fiction centers around two males in a sexual relationship. If homosexuality offends you, please hit the back button on your browser. Those of you remaining enjoy—A short note for those that comment on the OOCness of the characters: the whole point of the fic is for them to be OOC. I have put them in a situation that they would not be in if they were in the actual anime. I think it is only realistic to write these characters the way that I have considering the emotionally taxing situation that I have put our brave heroes in. And now…the long awaited (in my mind) chapter six…

Fingers were slowly moving through my hair while a soft voice whispered in my ear. I was surrounded by warmth feeling peaceful and safe--like I did whenever I woke in Yamato's arms. I smile softly turning my face into the neck it rested against giving a brushing kiss. "Morning, Yama," I murmured.

The fingers froze and the voice spoke a little louder, "I'm not, Ishida, Tai". Yue…oh shit.

I pulled myself up apologizing immediately. "I'm so sorry, Yue. I don't…. actually," I said confusedly, "Can you tell me how I got here?"

"You don't remember?" He asked sounding a little surprised. "But that should be expected considering the condition you were in when I found you".

"What?" I knew I was in Yue's room because I had been in it before, but I don't remember coming here. All I remember is crying in that café.

"I ran into you at the café last night," he paused and eyed me warily before continuing, "You told me about what happened with Ishida at the park," I winced and he stopped.

"It's okay, I remember now". Thank you for listening to me, Yue," I whispered staring at the blanket bunched in my lap. "I'm sorry I called you Yamato".

Fingers slid under my chin and I found myself looking at Yue. He gazed into my eyes for a long time before smiling sadly, "That's okay. It's only natural to think about the one you love firs thing in the morning, ne?"

I blushed a deep shade of crimson as remembered telling Yue as much last night in a fit of hysterics. "I'm so sorry, Yue," I said on the verge of tears. I felt so bad. Yue felt so much for me and all I could ever really give him is my friendship. I was such a bad friend; I was flaunting my feelings for Yamato in his face knowing how he felt about me. That had to be so painful. I was inadvertently hurting Yue the way Yamato hurt me. As soon as I thought this, I really started to cry.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Taichi," Yue said as he wrapped his arms around me. "I knew I never really had a chance with you before we ever got involved. You were always honest. You never misled me. I knew from the first day I kissed you in that hallway that I could never compete with Ishida. The look on your face after he kissed you…I would give anything to have you look that way at me. But that is not meant to be and I'm okay with that. I just appreciate the time you were able to give me. It was more than I could have ever hoped for. I have no regrets, Taichi. Remember that. You will always be a honored friend of mine and I hope that the same holds true for you".

"Do you really mean that?"

"Of course I do," he said giving me a lopsided smile. "I have always considered you my friend, Taichi."

"Ditto," I said pecking him on the cheek before flashing him a smile. "So, you're supposed to be leaving today, right?" I asked looking around his room skeptically.

"Yup," he said surveying the mess.

"And just what were you planning on taking with you?"

"Oh, just that stuff over there," he said gesturing vaguely at a huge pile of clothing and furniture.

"And you didn't pack any of it?" I gawked incredulously.

"Well, that's where you come in good friend of mine," he said beaming smile aimed firmly in my direction. I helped Yue pack and saw him off before spending the rest of the afternoon wandering around aimlessly thinking over my problems with Yamato.

When I got home later that night Hikari greeted me at the door. "Where have you been? I've been worried sick".

"Around," I said as I brushed passed her making my way toward my room.

"You were supposed to be home this morning, Tai. I was worried when you didn't show up so I called around looking for you. No one knew where you were and I was very worried. You could have called me," she said following me into my room.

"Look, I'm sorry Kar, but I have a lot on my mind. I wasn't really thinking about it, I'll be sure to call you next time I change my plans. Now, I would like to be alone if you don't mind".

"Okay," she said turning toward the door, "But if you want to talk about anything come find me". I closed and locked the door behind her before collapsing on my bed and falling into a dreamless sleep.

I was jolted awake a couple hours later by knocking on my bedroom door. I staggered toward the door, a glare prepared for whomever dared to disturb my sleep, before throwing it open. My mother smiled while shoving the phone into my face, "You have a phone call, sweetheart," she chirped.

"Thanks," I mumbled taking the phone from her. After closing the door and throwing myself back into bed I finally spoke into the receiver. "Hello?" I mumbled not really in the mood to talk to anyone.

"Hey, Taichi," a deep voice breathed into the line and my breath caught in my chest. Yamato.

"Yamato".

"I know you probably don't want to talk to me right now, but I need to talk to you".

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say unless you have some real answers for me". There was a long pause before Yamato spoke again and I worried that I had actually lost my best friend.

"I can't tell you everything you want to hear right now, I'm still trying to figure that myself. But I do know I was wrong for doing what I did to you yesterday, I'm sorry I hurt you like that. It was very petty and not at all comparable to me walking in on you and Daisuke. I just really needed to tell you that," he said quickly, his voice strained. "And I'm sorry for giving you shit about Daisuke and Tsukishiro too. You had every right to be with them. Like you said, you're not attached to me," he finished, his voice tinged with bitterness.

I was shocked. I didn't expect to get an apology out of Yamato, hell; I didn't expect to get a phone call—not this soon anyway. But here Yamato was, sincerely apologizing to me even if he couldn't offer me all the answers I needed. "Wow," I said after a while. "I really didn't expect to get an apology out of you, Yamato".

"Can you forgive me, Tai?"

"I can forgive what you're asking, yes. As for everything else…"

"I can't answer you right now, Tai," he said cutting me off. "I need more time, but I promise to tell you everything when I'm ready".

"That's good enough for now… I guess". There was another long pause before Yamato spoke again.

"Can I see you?" he asked hesitantly.

"I don't know if seeing you is such a good idea right now".

There was another long pause and then, "Is it okay if I call you?"

"I can't see the harm in that," I said and immediately began to regret the decision. I know that I shouldn't see Yamato right now but there's nothing I want more; even after what he did to me yesterday.

"I really am sorry, Tai," he said breaking my thoughts and I knew I was lost. The sound of his voice was making me feel better, which is ridiculous because he is the one that has caused me to feel this way in the first place.

"Can we please talk about something else?" I whispered. There was another moment of silence before Yamato spoke again.

"You'll never guess whom I ran into today…" he began and we spent the rest of the night talking to each other as we did before this whole thing began. Yamato was no longer associated with the mass of confusing feelings I have been carrying around for the past year and a half; he was simply…my best friend.

I didn't allow Yamato to see me outside of school for a month after that day in the park, instead he would call me at night and we would talk about everything. I was sad that I couldn't physically be in his presence but the mending of our relationship more than satisfied me. We were getting close again but I did miss him. If he weren't out of town again I'd go and see him right now. In fact, I plan on seeing him as soon as he gets back—only one more day to go. Damn, this is the longest week ever.

"Hey, Tai," I was jolted out of my thoughts by Takeru.

"Hey, Teeks," I said looking up at him and I was struck—not for the first time—by his strong resemblance to his brother.

"Have you been here long?" he asked taking a seat next to me.

"No, I just got here a little while ago".

"Good," he said after a moments pause. "I've been meaning to speak to you".

"Oh?"

"I know it's none of my business," he started hesitantly, "But I was wondering what Yamato did to make you so angry".

"Excuse me?" I asked more than a little surprised. This thing with Yamato had been going on for more than a year now and none of our other friends had noticed. I had gotten so good at hiding it; pretending that everything was fine.

"Don't think I haven't noticed, Tai. You guys go out with us when we plan group events, but you never hang out, just the two of you, anymore. The others haven't noticed, but Kari and I have. It's very obvious to the both of us".

"We've both been busy, Keru," I sighed not knowing what else to say.

"Yeah…busy avoiding each other. Why talk on the phone but not in person? What did he do that was so bad?"

"Why do you even care?" I asked harshly, suddenly angry, my frustration with the situation mounting.

"You're both miserable, why wouldn't I care? You usually make each other happy but all either one of you have done lately is hurt the other. You are supposed to be best friends, whatever happened, it can't be that bad".

"You don't know everything that happened".

"So…tell me".

"It's not that easy, Keru. The situation is a lot more complicated than you think. This problem can't be solved like all the other ones".

"Wow, this sounds more serious that usual…if you tell me all that's happened maybe I can help you think of a solution."

"Yamato's the one that fucked up and he already knows what he needs to do to fix everything".

"What did he do, Taichi-onii-chan?" Takeru asked now intensely curious.

"An easier question to answer would be 'what _didn't _he do?'" Taichi said chuckling bitterly.

"Tai…" Takeru started only to be cut off.

"Your brother's an asshole, Takeru. But you already knew that, didn't you?"

"He hurt you very badly, didn't he?" Takeru asked concern written all over his features.

"That really doesn't matter right now, Keru. Nothing does really."

"Tai…"

"I don't know about you, but I'm over this little chat," I said rising from my seat on the ground. "Catch you later," I said as I began walking away.

"Wait," Takeru called scrambling after me. "Do you want me to walk you home?" he asked when he caught up with me/

"Thanks for the offer, Teeks, but I'd rather be alone right now," Takeru looked a little disappointed by my response, but let me go without too much of a fuss.

I realized something very import after that chat with Takeru. I may miss Yamato, but I am not ready to see him. Not with how I reacted when I was with Takeru. This realization led me to set down more ground rules where Yamato is concerned, he wasn't too happy to learn that I wanted to further limit what little contact we had but he agreed to my terms. Yamato has been very understanding and cooperative lately, even when he is obviously displeased, he goes along with what I want because it is strengthening our relationship. He is not as self-centered as he's been the past year; he's almost his old self really.

After talking to Takeru, I cut back on the number of phone calls Yamato could make. Instead of calling me every night, he now calls me once a week and instead of talking for hours we are limited to an hour. Yamato always sounds really frustrated when I inform him that the call is over and one night he nearly broke down confessing that he thought that things were getting worse because I set more restrictions instead of allowing him to see me again. After I assured him that I wasn't changing my mind about him he calmed and told me he was willing to do whatever was necessary to win my trust back. I want to believe him, but there's a part of me that just thinks he's biding his time. Then again, Yamato hasn't dated anyone sense that day in the park and I have had his undivided attention. I want to be positive, but it's hard.

Three months passed since that day in the park, since I set further restrictions on Yamato, when I got the phone call. It was Friday afternoon when Yamato called me. The call in of itself was not strange, but the person that was calling; Yamato usually called me Saturday night after band practice because he wanted to be able to devote his full attention to me for the entire hour he was allowed. Did he think he could just start breaking rules?

I picked up on the third ring, "Yamato," I started automatically angry.

"Wait, Tai," Yamato interrupted. "I know it's not Saturday, but I was calling because I promised I would."

"What!"

"Shut up for two seconds, all right?" he said voice laced with annoyance. "I promised that I'd call you when I was ready to talk…. well," he said releasing a huge sigh, "I'm ready. Whenever you are."

"You're serious," I asked not quite believing I was hearing him correctly.

"Yes, I'm serious. I'm free all day tomorrow if you want to talk then, if not, just let me know when."

"Tomorrow is good," I said after a moment.

"Tomorrow it is then. I can't say that I'm looking forward to this talk of ours, but I'm excited to see you again…I miss you, Tai". He said his voice a mixture of melancholy and happiness.

"Yamato…" I started as a warning.

"I know, Tai. I know. See you tomorrow," he said before he hung up.

I sat staring at the phone for a while before everything finally sucked in. It was happening, it was really happening. For better or worse, tomorrow I was going to get my answers.

TBC……..

A/N: I know it's been a while since I've updated this, but I want to take the time to thank those that have waited for this; your continued interest is appreciated. And I would like to say thanks for reading to any new readers.


	7. A Sudden Burst of Light

**Yo-Yo**

Chapter 7: A Sudden Burst of Light

By: ChaoticSpecter

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Digimon. This is being written for entertainment.

**A/N: **Refer to previous A/N's for the nature of this piece of fanfiction. Also, this chapter is being done in Yamato's POV....finally, huh? Enjoy.

Time apart from Taichi has been beneficial to the both of us, as much as I hate to admit it, I really needed this time away from him. Everything had gotten so far out of hand. I didn't want to be so controlling but I couldn't stand the thought of anyone else touching him. Now that I've had to spend some time away from him, I realize how much I was really hurting him and forcing him to change to deal with it.

I sometimes wish that I hadn't made a pass at him that night, but I couldn't control myself...and Tai didn't seem to mind. It was all so perfect, Taichi lying beneath me, moans falling from his lips, writhing as I moved inside him; but was it really worth it? Was it worth the near destruction of my relationship with my best friend? It was a bad idea at the time. I wasn't ready and Tai was hurt as a result.

I hurt the both of us because I couldn't stop myself when I wasn't ready. Tai was right when he said that I'd changed him. I made him angry, bitter, and vindictive...all things that weren't typical of him. He gave me everything and I hurt him every chance I got and he changed. Where I used to rely on Taichi to cheer me up, I could only be guaranteed his scorn. He's spent six months out of this year dedicating his whole being to my unhappiness and the only one I can blame for this is me. I lied to Tai when I told him that I didn't know why I kept doing what I did. I can only excuse my behavior by saying that I am a coward...I'm a coward and Taichi scares me. That is the strength of my feelings for Taichi scares me and I'm scared of what would happen if our relationship didn't work out.

But I ended up nearly driving him away with how much I was hurting him. I want Taichi to forgive me so badly. It's wishful thinking I know, I betrayed his trust, but if I could somehow regain his trust and get him to forgive me I would be so happy. I think I'm making progress though, Tai still talks to me in spite of everything and it's starting to feel like it did before I went and screwed everything up. He's happy when I call, he laughs, he listens and I think I'm close to regaining his trust...and I feel guilty. I feel guilty because he's so trusting of me already and I haven't done anything to deserve it yet. I haven't even come close.

But I want his trust so bad...I miss him so much, I just want to see him. I want it to be how it used to be. I want to be able to hangout after school unsupervised without Takeru glaring daggers at me. T.K. told me about his talk with Taichi in the park--while he was telling me this he also informed me that he and Hikari thought that I was an asshole--and threatened bodily harm if I didn't do what I needed to do to fix everything. However, he did convince Taichi to let me walk him home after school...that is with his supervision, of course.

I'm grateful, don't get me wrong, but I don't want to be chaperoned, I don't want T.K. and Kari's scorn on top of Taichi's pain. I'm such a bastard. How could everything go so wrong? Hopefully when Tai gets here in the morning everything will be fine, or at least firmly settled in the direction of fine.

I was startled awake when I was unceremoniously jabbed in the ribcage. I opened my eyes only to find Taichi hovering above me looking anxious, hopeful, and impatient. "Are you awake?"

"I am now that you stabbed me," I grumbled. "What the hell did you poke me with?" Taichi held up a mechanical pencil in answer and I glared.

"Are we going to talk or what?"

I glanced at the clock and immediately became indignant. "It's 5:30 in the morning, Taichi," I growled.

"You said you wanted to talk today and I couldn't sleep".

"But 5:30...?"

"You can't blame me for being impatient when you've kept me waiting so long".

I immediately felt guilty, "I'm sorry, Tai. I-"

"No, I'm sorry, Yamato. That was uncalled for. It's just...I want to know so bad and I've been wanting to know-"

"For so long. I know and I'm sorry. It's my fault you're so impatient, you don't have to apologize. Just-"

I was startled when Taichi suddenly launched himself into my arms hugging me tightly. "I missed you so much," he whispered and I was nearly overcome with guilt. It felt good to hold him again, but he shouldn't miss me. I shouldn't be making him apologize, he shouldn't apologize, not after what I did.

"Tai, we should--" Taichi stopped my sentence with his lips and I forgot what I wanted to say. I kissed back immediately wrapping my arms around him and Taichi moaned in response. One of his hands slipped beneath the hem of my shirt and my mind went blank, all I could focus on was the feel of his skin against mine and how I wanted to feel more. Tai slowly ran his hands up my sides, massaging me and divesting me of my shirt at the same time he dropped kisses on newly exposed skin and I groaned. It felt so good to have him in my arms again...it was so easy to hold him, to kiss him...but this wasn't right.

I gently broke away from Taichi's hold and he immediately latched on to me again. "Tai..we can't do this...I don't want to take advantage..." I breathed and Tai groaned in response.

"You're not taking advantage, Yama..." he whispered molding himself to me. "You're taking what I offer," he finished, tongue slipping out to trace a lobe and I shivered arms tightening around him in response.

"Tai..." I breathed harshly against his neck and Taichi slipped his fingers into my hair using his grip to guide my mouth back to his. He parted his lips and I immediately pushed my tongue into his mouth desperate to taste him. Tai moaned in response and I pushed him onto his back and straddled him.

"Yama..." he sighed as I lowered my weight onto him, his arms moving to wrap around my shoulders. "I've missed you. I've missed you so much," he whispered repeatedly, eyes misting with tears as he peppered my face with kisses.

"I've missed you too, baby. I'm so sorry....I'm so fucking sorry," I whispered back holding him close as he cried.

"Why did you do it, Yamato?" Taichi asked as soon as he felt calm enough to speak.

I sighed before pulling myself away from Taichi to sit up. "I don't know, Tai...well actually...." I trailed off before abruptly standing and pacing the room.

Taichi sat up in reaction to the sudden action, "Yama...?" he asked confusion lacing his voice.

"I like you, Taichi," I whispered in response. "I like you a lot....and that night...that first night together with you...I couldn't control myself." Taichi sat up straighter and I could feel his eyes burning into my back. "You were so _cute _that night," I said with a slight chuckle. "I couldn't help but come on to you, but I never thought that you'd take me seriously...that you'd let me take you. Tai-chan..." I sighed as I turned around pinning him with my gaze. "Why did you let me do it?"

Tai startled at the question before glaring in anger. "You're supposed to be giving me the answers here," he growled.

"I know that and I will, but I need to know why you let me do it, Tai. Why did you let me treat you like that? Why did you let me seduce you?"

Taichi sighed before giving a small sad smile, "I love you, Yamato. I thought that would be obvious by now."

I could feel my eyes widen in shock at Taichi's confession and I stood in shocked silence for a few moments before whispering, "You love me....?"

"Yes, you dumb ass," Taichi growled in annoyance and I smiled. "Now continue with my explanation, if you will, sir."

I chuckled a little before sobering. "Like I said, I like you, Tai. That first night, I didn't expect you to take me seriously...I thought that you'd laugh it off and I would regret trying for a few days." I sighed heavily and started to pace once again. "But you didn't laugh it off, Tai, you gave into me...and it was perfect...but when I woke up in the morning, I panicked. I know that doesn't excuse what I did...but I panicked. I never thought that I could ever be with you. I've wanted you for so long, Tai. I wanted you so bad, but I was too scared to ever do anything about it," I pinned him with my gaze then, begging understanding from him.

"When I woke up that morning and saw you lying beside me, I convinced myself that you could never seriously want me...not the way I wanted you. So, I made sure you couldn't hurt me the way I realize I hurt you. I didn't want to feel rejected by you. I thought if I never let you see how seriously I felt for you, that you couldn't get tired of me....you would always be able to be with someone else...." I turned away from him then, I couldn't bear to face him.

I gave a self-depreciating laugh before continuing, "It seemed like the perfect solution at the time, but the thought of you with someone else...." I balled my fists at the thought. "I don't think I could _ever_ bear the thought of you with someone else and _seeing _you with someone else," my throat constricted and my fingernails began to cut into my palms. " I couldn't stand it--I _can't_ stand it. I got so angry with you for doing exactly what I told you to do; what I never actually expected you to do," I started breathing heavily my emotions overwhelming me.

"Tai-chan....I never expected you to feel the same," I whispered. "We spent so much time alone and that night....it wasn't the first time I showed you how I felt," I turned to look at him then. Not really wanting to, but holding his intent gaze. He seemed surprised when I said that. "You really never notice anything, Taichi," I said smiling softly. "I mean it...it wasn't the first time. I really didn't expect you to take me seriously because you never have--well, you never did before that night."

"What did I do then that was so different...? I keep asking myself that question—I've been asking myself that question this whole time. What did I do, Tai...?" I asked a hint of desperation in my voice. "Whatever it was...I would have tried it a long time ago if it meant that I could have you."

Taichi looked startled. "....I don't know, Yama," he said after a while. "Maybe....maybe I just happened to be paying attention that time," he whispered thoughtfully.

I chuckled a little at that. "So, I just got lucky then...?" I sighed. "Tai-chan, do you know how often I came on to you?" I asked seriously. Taichi just gave me a confused look. "I came on to you almost everyday for three years," Taichi looked really shocked then. "I'm serious, Tai. Most of the time it was harmless and you'd just assume I was playing and sometimes....sometimes, you'd flirt back," I gave a wistful smile and Taichi looked clueless. "Oh yes, you'd flirt back...although, you weren't aware of it, that is exactly what you were doing. I loved it when you did that," I smirked at him.

"Of course, there were times that I was feeling brave enough to make a move on you, a serious move...just like I did that night. Every time I did, you never took me seriously, you thought I was being silly and told me to back off. I'd feel depressed for trying when I knew I'd fail and avoid you for a few days until I didn't feel so stupid for doing it and then everything would be back to normal. We'd hang out and it would be like nothing had ever happened because for _you_ nothing had happened."

"Oh God, Yama," Taichi sobbed suddenly. He threw himself at me, holding himself close to me. "I had no idea," he whispered against my neck, crying softly. "I'm so sorry."

I wrapped my arms around him, "You have no reason to be sorry, Tai-chan," I whispered. "I could have made you understand that I was serious, but I let you think I was joking. I was too scared to tell you how I felt, that's not your fault. You weren't trying to hurt me. It's not your fault that I was so used to you not taking me seriously that I couldn't face it when you finally did. I'm a coward, baby," I whispered in his ear, trying to comfort him. "It's not your fault I couldn't tell you how I felt."

"Yes, it is, Yama," Taichi sighed pulling away from me just enough to pull me toward the bed. We lie down on the bed facing each other. Taichi sighed softly before continuing, "I should have realized you were serious, Yama. I'm your best friend," he said seriously. " Aren't I supposed to notice things like that?"

I smiled at him, "You're supposed to see things in me you never notice anywhere else?" I asked teasingly.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that until recently, you haven't noticed anyone looking at you the way I did--he way I still do. And you certainly didn't realize it when people flirted with you. You were pretty dense, baby," I chuckled.

"I noticed!" he said affronted.

"No, you really didn't. Don't blame yourself for things that aren't your fault." We fell into a comfortable silence, just holding each other. After a while, I felt myself drifting to sleep, Taichi's soft breaths whispering against my neck.

I woke up a few hours later, Taichi still wrapped securely within my arms. I watched him for a few moments taking in his features before I began to slowly trace the line of his jaw with one of my fingers. I missed him so much in our time apart and I felt so lucky to have him here right now. I don't know how Taichi can still talk to me, let alone, be here in my arms right now after all that I've done. I was such a bastard. When I think of all of the things I could have done...the things I should have done. Things would be so much better and Tai would never have been hurt. I cup the side of his face and slide my fingers into his hair, Taichi sighs and begins to stir and I begin to drag my fingers through his hair.

"Morning, Tai-chan," I whisper as he opens his eyes. He stares at me blearily for a moment before smiling.

"Morning, Yama," he says groggily before pulling away from me to sit up. I follow him and pull him into a light hug kissing him softly on his neck and he sighs in pleasure.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper. "I don't know if I could ever ask you to forgive what I did....if anything I said could excuse it. I just wish--"

"I know Yamato, you don't have to keep apologizing," Taichi said smiling softly. "I'm just happy that we finally talked about everything. I have the answers that I've been wanting for a long time now, we're talking again, I don't feel the urge to piss you off every chance I get, and I think that you no longer feel compelled to hurt me."

"I don't," I said vehemently and Taichi continued as if I had not spoken at all.

"And most importantly, I can be in your presence without feeling anything negative," Taichi sighed after he said this and pulled away from me standing from the bed. He paced a bit before turning to me with a thoughtful expression.

"What do you want from me, Yamato? Now that this is all sorted out, I mean?" I looked at him at a loss for a few seconds before responding.

"What do you mean?" I asked in confusion.

"Do you want to be my friend? Do you want me?"

"I -I want you," I said quickly. "I mean, I want to be with you...be your boyfriend," Taichi smiled at me then.

"You're serious? You're not going to get all weird again?" he asked cautiously and I jumped up from my place on the bed to grasp his arms.

"I'm serious, Taichi. I want to be with you, I don't want anything that has already happened repeat itself," I said earnestly.

"You're not going to keep me a secret?" he asked timidly and I damned myself all over again.

"Of course not. I'm going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I was an idiot, Tai. Nothing I could ever say can excuse my behavior before, but I promise you, I will not hide you. If you agree to be my boyfriend, I'll tell everyone...like I should have when everything started." Taichi looked surprised when I said this.

"Really?" he asked brow raised.

"I mean it, Taichi. I really do," he smiled again.

"You're not going to date other people?" he asked then.

"No one but you, baby," I said cupping his jaw. I would give Taichi all the assurances he needed for the rest of his life if he agreed to be with me...then again, I would even if he didn't. I still wanted his friendship if I couldn't have anything else. Taichi was very important to me.

"You're not going to be overbearing?"

"No," Tai snorted when I said this. "Okay, okay, I'll try not to be. You can't blame me because I need to protect your honor at times," Taichi laughed outright at this.

"I believe 'jealous' is the word you're looking for."

"Whatever. I said I would try," I grumbled.

"How do you feel about me?" he whispered.

I pulled him close then, wrapping my arms around him. "I love you," I whispered resting my forehead against his, gazing into his eyes, hoping he could see the truth of my words. His breath hitched and his eyes began to water.

"You really mean that?" he asked, voice unsteady.

"I mean it," I whispered back and Taichi closed the bit of space separating us sealing our lips. One of my hands slipped into his hair, tangling in its stands deepening our kiss and the other went to the small of his back, pressing him that much closer.

We parted, panting heavily, trying to regain the ability to breathe properly. Taichi buried his face in my neck, breath fanning across my collarbone. "I love you too, Yama," he whispered after a while and I tightened my hold on him. We stood holding each other for a moment more before Taichi pulled away from me. "I'll like to be your boyfriend too,"he said smiling shyly. I smiled uncontrollably.

tbc...

A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this out. A lot has been happening with me. I appreciate all of you have stayed interested in this. I hope it was worth the wait. Let me know what you think.


	8. Shift into Focus

**Yo-Yo**

Chapter 8: Shift into Focus

By: ChaoticSpecter

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Digimon. This is being written for entertainment only.

**A/N:** Moving back into Taichi's POV; I hope you enjoyed Yamato's. If you don't know by now, this story involves to males in a romantic relationship. If that bothers you, please do not read any further.

*********************************************************************************

It has been a few weeks since Yamato and I had our talk. We haven't told anyone about our relationship, but that is because I don't want to tell anyone yet. I just want to enjoy everything without any drama; bask in Yamato's undivided attention. He has been true to his word--so far. He's not nearly as demanding as he was before, he hasn't looked at anyone else, and he is very attentive...very loving. And I can't help but think that it's just a matter of time before things go back to the way they were. I can't help it. Things were so wrong for so long that I can't help but think that Yamato is just doing what he thinks he has to before I give--like I did at the slightest for over a year. I hate this. I hate the doubt even after Yamato has done everything I've asked; submitted to my rules for so long and has finally given me the answers I've craved.

I just can't believe that this all happened because he wanted me. It's so simple and so fucked up at the same time. It's so hard to reconcile our past relationship with what we have now and I still need time to adjust. It's too new and it frightens me in a lot of ways. Yamato is serious about this. I know he is. There are no more calculated looks or cutting remarks; for the most part everything is the way it used to be. He's my best friend. We can talk because that's all I let him do for so long. But it's different--there's intimacy; the intimacy that we couldn't have because of Yamato's neurotic behavior.

I'm not the only one that needs to get used to this. At times I catch Yamato looking at me in disbelief and he tells me that he is expecting to wake up from an extremely vivid, heartbreaking dream. But it is real. Takeru and Hikari are happy that we made up and that we are hanging out again, but Keru wants to know what went wrong. He is concerned that his brother will make the same mistake again no matter how much Yamato assures him. That makes me a little paranoid. Kari has accepted that we've made up and I'm happy. She was so worried about me. It's enough for her to know that the problem is solved and that Yamato has apologized and sworn never to make the same mistake again. However, Takeru is insistent. This scares Yamato because Takeru looks up to him. He is afraid that his brother will find out just how fucked up he can be. I think he is ashamed.

The thought gives me much pleasure. Does that make me a bad person? Being pleased by Yamato's shame? I feel justified in my pleasure though. I felt ashamed almost everyday; ashamed of myself, ashamed of Yamato....so much shame. And yet I felt helpless to stop it all. Why did he have to push me so far before I stopped it? I feel ashamed just thinking about it-- Ashamed that I'm so happy with him now. Deep down I know that this is the real reason that I don't want anyone to know. Shame. The shame that they may one day find out all that happened without their knowledge. It's laughable. A year ago all I wanted was to have Yamato tell everyone; wanted them to know that we were together, that we were happy-- That I loved him.

Now, I just want to wait. Wait until I can't wait anymore and I think Yamato knows it. I can see it in the way he sometimes looks at me. But I can't care about that. As far as I'm concerned, he's just finding out how I felt all that time. I'm no longer angry with him and I don't want him to hurt, but I can't bring myself to care about him feeling that way. There is no need for revenge, I just don't care--my empathy got me into the problem in the first place. I've changed more than I thought and the longer we are together the more Yamato realizes. But who can he blame but himself?

Tomorrow we are going to meet up with the rest of the digidestined at a party Mimi is throwing. I don't want to go, but everyone will be there and it has been a while since we've all got together. I also don't want to deal with everything else I know will come along with going. The party is not just for the digidestined, Mimi's having a birthday party. Yamato just might pull something. It will be our first time out in public since we started dating and no one knows....I can't wait.

"Taichi," Yamato's voice startled me from my thoughts and I turned away from the window to face him. "Don't worry. I know you don't want to go to this party, but it'll be fine."

"I'm not worried."

"How many times do I have to tell you that you can't lie to me, sweetheart?" Yamato soothed while wrapping his arms around me. I sighed heavily.

"All right, I'm worried. Are you happy?"

"Don't worry, baby," he whispered dragging his finger through my hair. "The only one I want is you. I'm so sorry, baby. So sorry I treated you so badly. I-"

"Don't," I said stopping his speech. "You don't need to apologize. You've already done it. Just stop. I know you're sorry, I know you want to be with me," I whispered. "It's fine." Yamato tightened his hold and I could only hope I was worried for nothing.

********************

I knew I was right to worry about coming to this stupid party as soon as we walked through the door. After saying our hellos and giving Mimi our gifts Yamato was immediately surrounded by his adoring fans. I was repulsed by the sight of their fawning and left him alone. All I could think about was what happened in the past; how Yamato would give his suave smile and preen under their attention and eventually choose one to be his adoring girlfriend. It sickened me. I could see it happening all over again, just like it did with Karen; and what a kick to the gut that was. I didn't want to watch it happen like I did so many times before. I was more interested in a stiff drink. I would need several if I was going to make it through the night. My search took me to the kitchen where I found Daisuke and Ken flirting shamelessly. Takeru was there, too. I went straight for the bottles.

I took a couple shots and was about to take a third before Takeru stopped me. "What's wrong, Tai?" he asked gripping my wrist.

"Nothing. Let me go," Takeru narrowed his eyes in response.

"What did he do?" he growled.

"What are you talking about?" I knew Takeru would be a problem. Damn him.

"What did Yamato do? Are you fighting again?"

"He didn't do anything and we aren't fighting."

"Then why are you drinking like this?"

"I've only had a couple shots, Teeks. You're acting like I'm wasted. Chill out."

"You seem upset," he said voice laced with concern.

"Look, Keru, I'm fine. Really. I just didn't feel like coming out tonight. I just want to loosen up," Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say because Takeru got suspicious again. Luckily, I was stopped from answering when Yamato walked into the room. Oh Joy! More drama. I wish I had my drink.

"Hey. Why'd you disappear?" he asked as soon as he saw me.

"Felt like a drink," Yamato's eyes narrowed in suspicion and he opened his mouth to speak, but Takeru interrupted him.

"What did you do?" he growled. Yamato was startled for a moment before becoming indignant.

"I didn't do anything. What the hell are you talking about?"

"Then why is Tai upset?" he demanded.

"I'm not upset, Takeru," I hissed, but he continued as if he didn't hear me.

"Did you hurt him again?" Yamato looked stricken for a moment before turning to me.

"I'm fine. He's just overreacting," I said in an attempt to soothe him. "You know how Keru is. When he's got it in his head that something is wrong, he won't see reason."

"Hey! I'm right here, Taichi. And I know what I'm talking about. You had that look on your face again. I know something's wrong."

"What look?" Yamato demanded.

"The look he had when you were being an asshole and almost fucked off your friendship." Yamato immediately turned to me in concern.

"Tai, what's wrong?" he asked voice soft and uncertain. I glared at Takeru in response. This is not what I wanted. I just wanted to have a few drinks and pretend I wasn't feeling so miserable. That's all I wanted. Damn you Takeru. And damn Yamato for being here, too. He should still be with his adoring fans.

"Nothing is wrong, Yama," I said giving him a soft smile and pulling him close. "Everything is fine." Yamato wrapped his arms around me and crushed me against his chest in response. "It's okay, sweetheart," I whispered in his ear.

"Then why did you look like that?" Takeru asked refusing to be ignored.

Yamato pulled away from me at that, just far enough to stare into my eyes, and brought his hands up to cup my face. Damn you Takeru. Damn you for making him look at me like this.

"What did I do, baby?" he asked earnestly, eyes begging me for the truth.

"You didn't do anything," I insisted.

"I saw your face, Taichi. You looked like you were in pain," Takeru said all traces of anger gone. I managed to tear my eyes from Yamato's and gave Takeru a heated stare.

"Why can't you be silent?" I asked. Takeru looked startled and Yamato grew uncertain. "You didn't do anything, Yamato. You know that I've been feeling a bit stressed lately-"

"Because of me," he said sadly.

"No, because of me," I said sighing heavily. "I'm just...I'm just a little scared is all," I whispered.

"You think I'll hurt you again," he stated, voice void of emotion.

"No-"

"Don't lie, baby," he said giving a dry laugh. "I always told you, you don't lie well."

I pulled away from Yamato, glaring at Takeru. "Why are you doing this? I told you I was fine, but you just had to push," I growled. Takeru looked shocked and I distantly heard the startled gasps of Daisuke and Ken in the background. I'd forgotten about them.

"I just don't want him to hurt you again-"

"And we've told you a thousand times that everything is fine. It's all worked out, but you don't listen. You can't leave anything alone." Takeru's face was a mask of hurt.

"This is why I can't leave it alone, nii-chan," he said, voice strained, eyes shining. "You still act like this. It's a lot better than it was before, but you're so...bitter, angry, and resentful. I don't know what it is, but you don't act like yourself. I know you're lying."

"No, Takeru, no one is lying. Everything is fine. You know that people change; you need to accept that about me. I can't be the way I was before and I'm sorry that hurts you, but that's the way things are."

"If you want someone to blame, you can just keep blaming me," Yamato said in an emotionless voice.

"What did you do to him?" Takeru asked in angered confusion.

"Nothing you need to know about," he replied before grabbing me by the hand and dragging me from the kitchen.

Yamato dragged me into an empty bedroom and pushed me inside before he let me go. "Okay, Taichi," he said voice grim. "You're going to tell me what's wrong and you're going to tell me now." Oh. Shit. This is new. I never thought this would happen. He shouldn't be here demanding answers, he should be chatting up some girl and I should be drinking myself into a stupor. I know we're dating, but I didn't actually expect him to take it seriously. I can't believe Yamato is actually keeping his promises. Shit. "Taichi," he growled when I was quiet for too long.

"Uh...what do you want me to say?" I asked uncertainly. Yamato never seriously asked what was wrong. Never. Not in all the time we were together before. He sighed and his face softened before he approached me, cupping my face in his hands. I leaned into him, craving his touch.

"Tai-chan," he whispered while staring into my eyes. "Please tell me. I don't want a repeat of last time and I know that you don't either. Don't bottle up your feelings; we need to communicate. You told me how you felt and I ignored you in my selfishness--I won't make the same mistake and you shouldn't take my shit without complaint. We're both to blame for what happened last time. I am most responsible; I fucked up royally, but baby, you have to talk to me. I can't make it right if you never say anything. What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything, Yama. I promise. You did nothing. I was…I was just expecting—"

"You were expecting me to act like the bastard I was before," Yamato said and I looked up startled.

"No, Yama, I—"

"Don't make excuses for me. Tell me how you feel. I told you, we need to communicate. You feel this way for a reason. Tell me what I did." I pulled away from Yamato and went to sit on the bed. Yamato just watched me until I began to speak.

I sighed heavily before finally speaking. "You were right this whole time you know? I was worried…am still worried that everything will just go back to the way it was before. We've been by ourselves this whole time--in your apartment, at my place, but never anywhere hanging out with anyone else. Not since before…"

"Before I made you so angry you wouldn't see me," Yamato said giving a self-depreciating laugh. "I understand. I know why you'd feel like that given how I acted. You shouldn't worry that you will hurt my feelings if you tell me how you feel. You shouldn't be afraid to tell me either. More importantly, you should not prepare yourself to just accept anything I do," he said coming to stand in front of me. "If you don't want me to do something, tell me. If you don't like something someone else does, tell them," he said kneeling at my feet. "I'm yours; you don't owe anyone any explanations. It's your right." One of his hands came up to cup my face, thumb slowly stroking skin.

"Don't be afraid to say anything, baby. I told you I'll do anything for you and I meant it," he said gaze intense. "Of course, I'll expect the same thing from you. You know I'm a possessive man," he said chuckling a little.

"Jealous, you mean," I whispered tears gathering in my eyes. I didn't expect this. Eveything is so different now. Yamato is actually serious about me. He left his fan girls when I did; he came looking for me and I wasn't gone five minutes. He was concerned, is still concerned because Takeru told him he hurt me. He's reassuring me--wants us to communicate. I can't believe it. I was so overwhelmed the tears began to fall.

"Don't cry, baby. I'm sorry," he whispered and I pulled him into a fierce kiss. I couldn't help it.

"I'm not sad," I whispered against his lips, voice strained with tears. "I'm happy. You make me so happy..." I'd barely finished speaking before Yamato's mouth was on mine again. He pushed me onto the bed holding me tightly. He pulled away for a moment, staring at me with a tender look upon his face.

"You make me happy, too, Taichi," he whispered before collapsing on top of me, claiming my lips again. One of his hands slipped beneath my shirt caressing the the sensitive skin of my sides while the other grasped the hair at the base of my skull forcing my head back, deepening our kiss. His tongue probed every inch of my mouth he could reach, while his body pressed tightly against my own. I moaned submissively in response. Gods, I loved it when he was like this; so focused on me it was like he was trying to burn the feel of himself into me. I trembled and spread my legs, inviting him to press closer.

"Yama-kun," I moaned helplessly when he pulled away from my mouth and started to blaze a trail of wet kisses down my neck. And when he reached my collarbone, all I could do was whine and writhe beneath him. Yamato gave a deep groan in response and one of his hands slipped toward my waist, tugging at the button on my jeans. Oh, how I burned. I wanted him inside me so badly. I didn't think it was possible to want him more than I already did. "Please," I whined. I wanted whatever he would give me; to submit however he wanted me.

Yamato gave a breathless chuckle, pulling down my zipper, hand slipping beneath the waistline, urging the material over my hips. "Whatever you want, baby," he said in a breathless voice. Then, his hand wrapped around me and I was lost. My existence narrowed to the feel of Yamato's hand stroking my shaft alternately giving the barest of sensation and stroking me so harshly I feared I would spill myself too soon. I wrapped myself around him, fingers digging into flesh, arching into his touch. It was so good and I was so close, but I wasn't getting what I really wanted. I began tugging at the waistband of his jeans trying to fish him out, but my hands were shaking so badly I couldn't get the button undone. Yamato chuckled again and pulled back just enough to do it for me. My hands immediately dove under the waistline, pushing the offending material out of the way.

Yamato gave a deep groan of satisfaction as I freed his aching length from his constricting jeans. I savored that sound a moment before wrapping fingers around him and giving an experimental tug. Yamato bucked into my hand and sucked harshly at my neck in response. I shuddered anticipating the feel of him buried deep inside me. "Tai-chan," he rasped once he got himself under control, feathering kisses along my shoulder.

"Yama please" I whined pulling him flush against me, moaning deeply as our erections brushed. "Please." Yamato pulled away and I wanted to protest, but I stopped once I noticed why he moved. He tugged at the material of my jeans impatiently, dragging them down my body, tossing them aside and settling himself against me once again when he was finished. I sighed in contentment and Yamato reclaimed my mouth, forcing his tongue inside urgent and demanding. I was so focused on the feel of his mouth on mine that I didn't notice the hand sliding down my body until it touched my entrance. I inhaled deeply in response, hole twitching with my desperation to be filled. "Yama," I sighed desperately.

Yamato's warm breath ghosted along the skin of my neck, lips trailing, teasing until he reached my ear "What do you want, baby," he growled, breath fanning the lobe, voice barely restraining his lust.

"I want....I want," I began panting heavily, willing the words to come, my mind to settle.

"What do you want?" he asked again finger ghosting over my most private place and I shuddered hard, thoughts scattering. "Tai-chan," he whispered once I'd calmed enough. "Tell me."

"I-" but I never got to finish. The bedroom door opened, the music from the party spilling into the room. Yamato reacted first, jumping up to block me and I hid behind him. Peering over his shoulder I was met with a scene I didn't know how to deal with. Takeru was standing in the opened doorway, a shocked look on his face. I ducked back behind Yamato and buried my face in his back. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!!!!!!!!

To be continued.................

A/N: I know it's a bit late in coming, but not as late as the previous chapter. Let me know what you think!


	9. Visible to the Naked Eye

**Yo-Yo**

Chapter 9: Visible to the Naked Eye

By: ChaoticSpecter

**Disclaimer: **This story is being written for entertainment. I do not own anything pertaining to Digimon.

**AN:** This story revolves around two males in a romantic relationship. If that offends you, please read something else.

*^^^^^^^^^^^^^*

I sat behind Yamato panicking for what felt like an eternity before he started speaking. I heard the door close, shutting out the noise from the party, and I breathed a sigh of relief before I heard Takeru answering Yamato with a shaky voice. Shit. I have no time to pull it together. I felt the bed shift and saw Yamato stand, still blocking me from Takeru's view and straightening his pants. He grabbed mine from the floor and handed them to me. I pulled them on quickly and Yamato shifted bringing Takeru back into view. I could feel his eyes burning into me but refused to look at him.

"Taichi," he said hesitantly. I turned to Yamato eyes asking for guidance. I had no idea what to do, what to say. This is the worst thing that could have happened.

Yamato brought his hand up brushing my cheek. "It's okay, baby. Don't be afraid," he said voice soft.

"Tai," Takeru ventured again and I finally turned my gaze on him. "This is it, isn't it? Why you were so sad? What Yamato did wrong?" I just smiled humorlessly and shrugged.

A myriad of emotions crossed his face before he settled on anger. "You bastard," he hissed at Yamato. "This whole time…you dated that girl and you were with Tai!? How long? How long has this been going on?!"

"That's none of your business, Takeru," Yamato replied with barely restrained anger.

"Do you see what you've done to him? Do you care you asshole?" Takeru was livid. "This whole time Tai has been feeling like shit and it's all because you were being a self-centered jackass playing with his emotions, treating him like he was no better than a whore! Worse than that, even; he's your best friend Yamato. You treated him like he was nothing. You don't deserve him!"

"You aren't telling me anything I don't already know. And as we've told you before, it's been worked out. It will never happen again."

"That's bullshit! You know how Tai is. This can happen again." I winced as he said that, thinking of how passive I was during the whole thing. How much I let happen just because it was Yamato; how I'd accept almost anything if it were him.

"Fuck you, Takeru. I told you, I'm not making the same mistake. I won't do that to Tai again. Not ever," he growled. Takeru turned away from him eyes latching onto mine.

"Tai-chan," he whispered closing the space between us. "Why didn't you tell me? This whole time…you knew how worried I was. You were in so much pain."

"I was fine, Keru" I said eyes dropping to the floor. I couldn't look at him anymore. I couldn't take that look on his face; that overprotective concern. He's worse than Kari. At least she gives me space; he just pushes until he gets what he wants. I'm older than him damn it! Why does he have to treat me like I'm helpless?

"Why are you lying? I know you weren't fine, you still aren't fine," he said fingers slipping under my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes. "Why do you let him treat you like this?" he asked stepping closer, fingers slipping into my hair. "You deserve better, yet you settle for whatever he wants to give you. You could have so much more; you know that, right?"

I just sighed heavily leaning into him, letting him support my weight. Yamato growled as I did so. "I appreciate your concern, Keru-kun. I really do, but it's over. It won't happen again."

"You know how you are with Yamato, Taichi. I worry. I don't want you to get hurt. And I certainly never expected him to do something as fucked up as what he did."

"It's fine, Keru," he wrapped one of his arms around me, fingers still in my hair and glared at Yamato.

"You're an insensitive bastard. I can't believe you. I never thought you'd be capable of doing something like this and to Taichi of all people," he said tightening his grip as if that would protect me from the hurt I felt; against anything in the future. Yamato said nothing. This was his greatest fear. I can only imagine how he's feeling right now. He just stared at Takeru as he held me a glint of jealousy in his eyes.

I pulled away from Takeru just enough to make eye contact before speaking. "You don't have to give him such a hard time you know," I whispered. "He knows what he did. He knows better than you think and he deeply regrets it. In fact, he's so paranoid he'll make the mistake again that he's being more considerate than is usual for him. He's trying, he's learning. That's all I want from him, Keru. I forgive him. I believe in him. Why can't that be enough?"

"Because you give him too much credit, Taichi. He'll take advantage of you again. I don't know why, but you need to please him. I always give you a hard time about it, but it has always concerned me. If it happened before—"

"Shut up, Takeru," Yamato said breaking his speech. "I already know these things. You're not saying anything I don't think of everyday. How easy it would be to do it again. But I won't treat my best friend like he's nothing again because I'm being selfish and running away from my own feelings. I know how Tai is and I won't take advantage because I won't let him accept everything I do. We're already working on the problems in our relationship. We know these things. I made a mistake. A really huge mistake and no amount of bitching on your part is going to change that or the fact that we are together now.

"I love him, Takeru. And I will not make the same mistake again. I want to be with him and I'm not willing to let anything get in the way of that. Not even you. You can either accept that or prepare to spend the rest of your life being ignored. I don't want to hear about this from you ever again. Do you understand me?" he asked eyes boring into Takeru's.

"Yama—" I started.

"Be quiet, Taichi. He has no business in this. He's interfering. Is he making you doubt me?" he asked eyes shifting to my face, searching.

"Yama, no!" I said backing away from Takeru's grasp and going to him. "I don't doubt you. I love you," I said hands cupping his cheeks. "You know I do," I said giving him a soft smile. "I don't doubt you. However, I think you are being a bit harsh with your brother. I understand that he is making you feel very uncomfortable right now, but that's no excuse to be such an ass. He's concerned is all; you know that. So, he knows what you did, what can you do about it now?" Yamato frowned and tried to turn his head but my hands held firm.

"Fine," he sighed. "I'm sorry I was so harsh, Takeru. But I meant it."

"Yamato," I growled.

"Fine! Sorry." Takeru chuckled while Yamato grumbled under his breath.

"So, I take it you guys don't want me to say anything seeing as how you've kept quiet so far."

Yamato looked to me at that and just stared. He wanted to say "No," I could see it in his eyes, but he turned back to Takeru and said "Yeah, that would be great."

"All right, I won't tell anyone, but I don't know about Kari-chan. I might say something to her without meaning to. I'm used to telling her everything."

"Please don't tell her—" I started.

"I know. I just meant that I would tell her that you guys were together is all. I won't tell her or anyone what Yamato did."

"Thanks," I said breathing a huge sigh of relief.

"I suggest you guys go somewhere else if you're going to continue what you were doing," Takeru said cheeks tinged pink with his head turned away. "It's a wonder you guys kept this a secret so long with your behavior earlier." I blushed and Yamato glared.

"I was a bit careless. This was not planned. We were just talking and Tai attacked me; I got caught up in the moment."

"Well, try not to get 'caught up in the moment' in any more public places," Takeru said as he turned to the door. "Oh yeah," he said on his way out. "Dai-chan and Ken-kun are worried about you. They were really shaken up by the way you were speaking to me. You might want to talk to them. In fact, I barely kept Daisuke from following you. If I didn't succeed, you would be talking to the both of us. And you know how excitable Dai can be when it comes to Taichi." I groaned and Yamato growled under his breath. "Just giving you a heads up. See you in a few," he said before closing the door.

"Well shit," I whined slumping onto the bed. That was nerve wracking. I think I almost died."

"Stop being so dramatic," Yamato murmured coming to sit next to me on the edge of the bed. I glared in response. "It was bad, don't get me wrong, but it went a lot better than I ever thought it could. And no one will ever know about us; just like you want," he finished a trace of bitterness in his voice.

For the first time since our relationship began I felt guilty. I also felt my past feelings reawakening. I do want everyone to know, but I still feel ashamed. In a lot of ways Takeru is right. I do allow Yamato to do whatever he wants and our past relationship is proof of my passivity. But everything feels so new right now, tonight is proof that Yamato is changing; taking my feelings into consideration and not just focusing on his own. He's trying so hard; Has been since I refused to see him.

He was used to me letting him take advantage of me, but that was more my fault than his. I let him. I let him do everything and I didn't really put up a fight. Shit. We spent a year like that because I didn't have a backbone. Because I couldn't say 'No' to Yamato or demand that he treat me better. I just rolled over and took it, let it change me and kept going back for more. God. I'm such a fucking masochist. Takeru has always been right about that. And I was always so angry because I knew he was right. He was always warning me and I didn't listen. Hindsight is a vindictive bitch.

"It's not that I don't want everyone to know," I sighed turning to Yamato. "I just…I'm not ready."

"What do I need to do?" Yamato asked earnest expression on his face. "What do I need to do to get you to forgive me?" he asked and I looked away. I felt like shit. I could already feel myself falling back into old habits. "Stop it," Yamato snapped suddenly and I looked at him startled. "Don't feel bad. Don't try to please me. Just tell me what you need. I've already told you…If you have something to say, say it. Don't worry about me. I want you to be honest with me. I don't want us to make the same mistakes. You don't have to forgive…I will understand if you never do. Not with what I did to you…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. I'm…I understand how I made you feel all that time and I'm sorry. I don't have the words to express how sorry I am. Just forget I asked," he finished sighing with a forlorn look on his face.

"Yamato," I whispered not knowing what else to say.

"Just let me know when you are ready. Come on," he said grabbing my hand as he headed for the door. "Takeru is waiting."

"Yama…"

"Don't worry," he said pausing at the door, "We have time. Let's just enjoy ourselves." With that he opened the door and we headed back into the fray. We made it as far as the kitchen before we were stopped by Daisuke and Ken.

"Taichi-sempai, are you all right?" Daisuke asked in concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said mustering a smile for him.

"Really?" asked Ken. "You seemed…I don't know. You didn't seem like yourself," he said hesitantly.

"Yeah, I'm sure." They looked doubtful but didn't press the issue. Takeru must have talked to them.

"Well," Daisuke said smiling brightly. "We're at a party, let's get a little crazy!" He grabbed my arm and dragged me in the direction of the living room talking excitedly while Yamato, Takeru, and Ken followed at a more sedate pace. The rest of the night ended up being pretty fun.

Tbc......

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